The Horns of a Dilemma, or, Chew through the Damn Rope and Break into the Hay Barn So Ray’s walking around in the kitchen, spots a loose goldfish cracker, and shoves it in her mouth, not noticing that I’m offering her a piece of yogurt bar at the same time. She looks up. Puh! Out […]

Project. Why? I don’t know. It’s just one of those things, you wake up and you know. I had a dream that I was cross-stitching a nudie picture. I haven’t cross-stitched in over a decade, I guess. Nevertheless. The’s an ant crawling over my pen box. Why is there an ant crawling over my pen

Anniversary redux. Familiarity breeds. Content. (No, I’m still on depo.)

Review. Anthem, Ayn Rand. Given a choice between Anthem and Atlas Shrugged, which would you pick? I know, I know, I make the same choices when it comes to Bartleby the Scrivner and Moby Dick, and Finnegan’s Wake and Ulysses. I read the slim volume that isn’t the masterpiece. And in some cases I’m probably

New toofer. Ray’s working on a new tooth. It must hurt worse than the other ones did — what a grouch! (I catch myself thinking that from time to time and have to laugh. Grouch? Ray? At her worst all you need to do is pick her up and snuggle. Or dance a little. Or

Feel good. I’ve been meaning to send a copy of “Lanes of the Living Dead” to the tabloid the Sun, which publishes short, pulp-type stories. Submit and go forth! I got the address from a friend of mine at work, but it was the address to a similarly-titled magazine. Luckily I checked out the website

Joke of the Week. Every week, I put a joke in the dept. newsletter. They have been bad and worse. I feel no shame in stealing Lee’s jokes, either. Last Monday’s: What do you call a big group of short elves with a terrible disease? … … … …A Leper-con.

Anniversary. So, yesterday Lee looks me deeply in the eyes (OUCH!) and says, “Uh, did we pass our anniversary?” I said, “You know what, I think it’s tomorrow.” “How long has it been, three years?” “There’s that thing on the wall that says ’98. Four years.” “Four years? That’s kind of scary.” “Well, we’ve been

Surprise. Last Saturday, some kind of miraculous day off that we both had off (!), Lee gave me a surprise. First, he disappeared for a few hours with the bebe. Then, he reappeared (with the bebe), and disappeared for several hours downstairs. Finally, he reappeared again. With a pinata. Very cute, purple dinosaur (not that

Review. Kung Pow. Hee hee hee hee hee hee! I haven’t laughed this hard since Spaceballs.