The only thing an asshole cannot do is de-center themselves. Everyone has asshole moments where they feel like they are or should be the center of the universe (and often not in a good way; “Why me?!?” is often an asshole question). Also, there are areas where you should center yourself, such as managing or […]
Asshole Mitigation Plan, Part 15: Pushback Read More »
I thiiiink we’ve covered most of the basic concepts we’re going to need in order to take the Asshole Mitigation Plan into a larger context, except one: setting boundaries. It’s a big topic and my brain can’t hold the whole thing all at once, so I’m going to try breaking it down into smaller chunks.
Asshole Mitigation Plan, Part 14: Being Known Read More »
Here’s a question: how do you know whether or not you’re an asshole? In fact, how do you know anything about yourself? Humans are subjective. We see things from our own biased point of view, or sometimes from someone else’s biased point of view.—When someone says they’re “just being objective,” I mentally mark it down
Asshole Mitigation Plan, Part 13: Know Thyself Read More »
You’re in a hallway. The walls are yellow trim with panels of patterned gold wallpaper; the carpet has a green, gold, and scarlet pattern. The carpet pattern is interrupted once by a single green patterned square on the floor, as if to mark a turn toward another hallway or perhaps the elevator, but you can’t
Liminal Spaces in Fiction: Empty Rooms, Interminable Passages, and Strange Perspectives Read More »
Since the last post, I’ve spent a week or so working on handling things that I had been avoiding. A lot of stuff was handled…and a lot of that promptly became problems again. Taking one step forward does not mean resolving a problem, most of the time, because many of our systems are designed to
Asshole mitigation plan, part 12: Invisible Costs, Avoidance, and Overwhelm Read More »
So you’ve written a book and now it’s time to say something nice about yourself. Quelle horreur!!! Most people have been taught not to say good things about themselves (because it’s socially considered self-centered bragging) or have been trained to actively say bad things about themselves (because of emotional abuse). If you’re neurodivergent, trying to
How to Market Yourself as an Author Read More »
Let’s say I don’t want you to do something. If you don’t do the thing, I will either reward you for not doing the thing or I will do nothing, depending on the circumstances. This includes my mood and other resources. If you do the thing, I will either punish you for doing the thing
Asshole Mitigation Plan, part 11: Punishment vs. Accountability Read More »
So we’ve defined the broad limits of what an asshole is: someone who can’t natively anticipate the consequences of their actions. If you happen to look at the news, you’ll see a lot of examples, naturally, given that Shitler and MAGA are all over the place. Of recent note are the MAGA idiots in the
Asshole Mitigation Plan, Part 10: Black and White thinking Read More »
After the last section, I spent some time writing and rewriting what I wanted to say next about assholes. What are assholes…why are assholes…and then I wanted to write about how assholes do what they do. But the more I wrote, the more I realized that it’s probably too soon to write about the overall
Asshole Mitigation Plan, Part 9: Apex Predators Read More »
Okay, so now I’ve defined what an asshole is. The next thing to define is why. Why assholes? If they’re so bad, so insidious, and so destructive, why do they even exist? Isn’t natural selection supposed to get rid of traits that are bad for the survival of the species?!? (No, by the way; natural
Asshole Mitigation Plan, Part 8: Why Assholes? Read More »
