Last Saturday, some kind of miraculous day off that we both had off (!), Lee gave me a surprise. First, he disappeared for a few hours with the bebe. Then, he reappeared (with the bebe), and disappeared for several hours downstairs. Finally, he reappeared again. With a pinata.

Very cute, purple dinosaur (not that purple dinosaur) pinata. We still haven’t busted it open. Not to say that we didn’t try. I whacked the dang thing, Lee whacked the dang thing; eventually he stabbed it a couple of times with his sword. Aiieee, take that, ROUS!

Ray got scared, I got sick of whacking it, I eventually just begged Lee to let us pull stuff out of it. Pinatas, as it turns out, are not made of any kind of wussy paper mache. No, it’s layered cardboard. Cultures that partake in pinata customs must turn out children who are well placed to step into the world of professional wrestling. Or something.

It was filled with chocolate and goodies. The goodies were small, plastic toys that you get out of vending machines. God! There must have been upwards of twenty-five of the little buggers. My favorite…hm…probably the little decks of cards with Halloween backs. Grossest: you know the material you make fake boogers out of, the stuff that kids fling at the walls? It sticks to stuff, feels disgusting, doesn’t really leave behind any residue? Yeah. Anyway, taking the prize was a convincingly narsty eyeball. Glow in the dark, by the way, so you can stick it on someone’s face after midnight and scare the piss out of ’em.

And inside each one was another gift, a piece of paper with a “freebie,” many of them…sexual.

Very nice. Mixing both my favorite kinds of sheer delight.

Thank you, Love.