Options for Impossible Dilemmas

Dilemmas usually defined as when you have to decide between two impossible choices.  Mine are almost always between “I can’t do this” and “I must do this.”

Some options:

  • Avoid the situation (and thus cognitive dissonance related to it), but incur a heavy personal cost of lost or damaged trust and relationships.  Ghosting.
  • Tell the people involved that you’re out of the situation (using a plausible excuse or no excuse).  More difficult in stress and confrontation, but cheaper in relationship costs:  at least you told someone.
  • Tell everyone involved about the dilemma you’re in, being honest about it; this has variable costs.  Sometimes this costs more than ghosting, because this is where bridges get well and truly burned.  “I love you but I can’t stay because you’re a fucking racist.”  Sometimes it’s better to “grow apart.”
  • Try to force yourself into compliance through the can’t-do aspects, honoring only the must-do.  Variable costs:  sometimes resistance is just stupid ego stuff (“But I don’t waaaaant to try sushi!  It’s raw fish!”) and sometimes it’s preventing you from destroying your personality, a la Get Out.
  • Try to renegotiate the situation openly.  “I have claustrophobia and can’t deal with elevators; can we meet somewhere else other than the top of the Empire State Building?”
  • Subvert/ignore the requirements (a.k.a. cheating).
  • Go around/redefine the requirements.  “I know we’re supposed to be on a diet tonight, but I won a free coupon for pizza off the radio today and…”
  • Break the can’t-do, must-do area into its smallest possible issue, the crux of the problem, stripping off as many assumptions as possible, to see if it’s really a can’t-do/must do situation.

This last one works surprisingly well, when I can find the discipline to do it.  Jumping to conclusions happens more often than I think:  often a dilemma is just anxiety in rationalized clothing.

Like this blog?  Check this out:  Victorian orphans, strange taxidermists, detective-heiresses, run-ins with the Peelers, oh my! #historical #crime http://ow.ly/lp0v30cKFYf

 

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top