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On the other hand…he did spend all day (all day) today doing spring cleaning.

I’m not a professional mother…just an amateur. Smooch! Every once in a while I catch myself being a mother at Ray instead of, if you will, with her. I can tell because I want her out of my hair. So I can do something. Anything. From start to finish. Those aren’t the good times. She

Ray updates. She went in a little early today for her six-month checkup. Length: 27 inches. Weight: 17 lbs. 8 oz. Head size: average. Other stats 95% for age and gender. Gluteal folds symmetrical. Development on track. We are go for Cheerios, I repeat, go for Cheerios.

The sensitive lover. So (and all underage readers may here avert your eyes), Good Saturday I was happily contemplating a lotta hot sex and a little gumbo when I get this call. “Honey? Do you miiiiind if I bring Joe over?” “You were still planning to get laid, right?” “Yeah…” “Well, bring him over,” I

Geocities cannot find my webpage. Right.

Reviews, continued. Five Moral Pieces. It’s going to be hard to write something to convince anyone to read this book that doesn’t already read Umberto Eco, a writer and professor of semiotics* in Italy. For those of you who have, this isn’t Travels with a Salmon, this isn’t Six Walks in the Fictional Woods. This

Reviews. Movies: Zoolander, Iron Monkey, Musketeer. Books: Five Moral Pieces (Umberto Eco), New Basics (Cookbook), The Laughing Corpse (Anita Blake). Gratuitous quote from a Terry Pratchett novel. Zoolander. Maybe this movie isn’t everyone’s cup of freaky tea. I mean, who wants to wake up with a midget folk band and a hangover? I have to

Rebellion, again. (This isn’t directed to anyone in particular, just something about human nature I want to bitch about.) The world isn’t fair. I can grasp that. You can’t have everything you want. Nevertheless, what’s wrong with the world being as fair as you can make it? What’s wrong with having everything, within reason? And

Statements. The difference between generalized statements and overgeneralized statements is that generalized statements are like those games where one player says “noun” and someone shouts out a noun (my favorite was always WD-40), and overgeneralized statements are like those games where one player says something totally inane and all the other players just stare at

Rebellion. This is just a reminder to myself on this subject. It’s six in the morning, and (even less so than usual) I can’t tell if it’s a good idea to write what I’m thinking.