Fat Ducks

Nerves. I joined the Online Writing Workshop for SF, F, and Horror a while back, intending to get feedback on my novel, Gods of Gray Hill. As they say, “you get what you ask for.” Most of it has been really good, but I have to brace myself every time I see a message in

Dude. I was reading a book of Tom Waits interviews the other day when I saw that he did the voice of Tommy the Cat on the eponymous song by Primus. Looked it up on the credits. TW’s there, as “voices.” Cooooool. A P.S. of Duh. Tommy the Cat. O-kay. It took a while, but

The Scientist. I had just banished Ray to her room, and “The Scientist” by Coldplay came on. She’d been eating the covers off her books, after everything else she’d been doing for the last hour. A line from the chorus: Nobody said it was easy/but no one ever said it would be so hard. –So

Zen monks shave their heads, don’t they? The new Disturbed album, “Ten Thousand Fists” is out. A quote from “The Gateless Gate,” a very old Zen text: ‘Joshu went to a hermit’s and asked, “What’s up? What’s up?”(=”Have you any Zen?”) The hermit lifted up his fist. Joshu said, “The water is too shallow to

D— it. I finally got to see Kaylee. I brought my camera. I took 0 pictures. This speaks volumes of my ability to focus on anything except the cuteness that is Kaylee’s little head, which still smells like baby head.

Bush Every time I see one of those ubiquitous “W” stickers, I ask, “Did you get what you wanted yet? Or are you just getting what you asked for?” Commentary on Katrina by the wise and wonderful Marn. It’s going to be Bugs Bunny in the carrot patch. Again.

Fictional Truth. Just as when a character says “the plan is…” it indicates that things will not go according to plan, when a characters says, “we know that…” whatever follows is wrong, wrong, wrong. This goes double (for six wrongs) if anyone agrees.

Steven Wright. I hurt myself at work today, laughing so hard: Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Shark Boy and Lava Girl: Children’s movies should be rated on a scale of one to five based on the number of times you can stand to sit through the movie in a theater. Second-run theaters count. The parental survival rate after three viewings of SBLG is 100%. Three stars.