A draining day.
Yoga: did the same stuff as yesterday that left me freaked out and…nothing. At first I thought it was because I was just overcompensating/being stiff instead of accessing flexibility, but no: I caught my own shadow and my shoulders were moving differently, less stiff. It was weird, seeing my shadow and feeling like it had become slightly unfamiliar.
I took a lovely long walk this morning. I got up close to a bunch of things. I didn’t cross the line where any person’s house or possessions were involved, but I did wander into construction lots and up to an empty church. I passed the place where I fell the other day and glared at it. People smiled at me happily but didn’t cross the line (one guy looked like he was going to, then looked down at his feet), so I might be finding a better balance there between “I’m having a lovely morning” and “fuck around and find out.”
Amidst a bunch of minor tasks, I finally got everything straightened out to go back onto therapy again. I’m not suffering; I’m trying to do some restoration work, if that makes sense. If I want to write full-time, there are some self-confidence things that need to get built or repaired (mostly built). We worked on that a bit. WOW it was draining, like being with a personal trainer after working out alone every morning. I got a bit fried.
Ray had a bit of a rough day, so I’m going to spoil her for the rest of the evening. She’s okay, but that’s not my tale to tell.
I got what I thought would be the hardest part of the WIP written yesterday. No lie, it was rough and I kicked a bunch of it down the road for later chapters. I did the research on a private tab because OH GOD there are things I don’t want ads following me around for. Yay! Autopsies.
Afterwards, the characters gave me a break and switched over to some low-level banter. One of the characters’ mentors is based on a guy I knew from the Springs who has passed away since then. I only met him like twice and I still miss him. I’m so glad to be able to hang out with him again. I also “met” a character who’s important to the story but who died several years ago; he seemed very real this morning and I wanted to apologize for killing him off before the story even started. But he’d rather I didn’t, all things considered.
I watched more Legion last night (S2E4) and loved it; I’m rewatching that ep in bits and pieces to get hold of it better. It feels like it’s a poem about how falling in love is different than loving a whole separate human being, and that not even telepathy can help you do that work.
Time for ham and tomato and mayo croissant sammitch. May the sammitch gods smile upon you, too.