In honor of Sunday: here are two reasons why I’m not a Christian. First, I don’t believe. It’s not that I disbelieve, it’s that I don’t know. I have no faith in it. That’s the big reason. Second, I only know two people personally that I would consider to be living out Christian principles with a minimum of hypocricy…and I’m pretty sure one of them is dead. There are several reasons that this number may be unjustly low. Non-hypocrite Christians may keep their mouths shut more than their more infamous brethren. People generally don’t live according to their “beliefs,” no matter what they are. (Frankly, I find adamant atheists just as annoying as any other bigoted religious fanatic.) The annoyance factor may skew my perceptions. And so on. In addition, one of the tenets of Christianity is that all people are by nature sinners.

Nevertheless, I’d rather go to hell than give my loyalty to a religion I don’t believe in and authorities I don’t respect or trust. Oh, well. If the Christians are right, at least I’ll be able to make fun of some of the intolerant jerks at Focus on the Family. “Aw…you went to hell for not doing your share of neighbor-lovin’ and brother-keepin’. How sad. You wouldn’t want to be up in heaven anyway…that’s where they keep the abortionists, fags, and Girl Scouts, after all.”