Month: June 2013

Giveaway for Reviews: Guinea Pig Apocalypse

Would you like a free copy?  

The print version of Guinea Pig Apocalypse is up.  Yay!  You can order it online at Amazon or B&N, and probably a bajillion other online bookstores.

However, I could use some reviews.  I have a giveaway going on at LibraryThing right now; you can scroll down or do a search for “guinea” to find it (there are a lot of different giveaways–if you want free books, it’s a great reason to sign up for LT, because they do this every month).  For a limited time, I will also pass out ebook copies to anyone who drops me a line to request one, barring anything weird, like someone with a signature line that reads “violates copyright for fun and profit.”

 

Guinea Pig Apocalypse

by De Kenyon

What? It’s summer and you have kids who are bored? Who knew?!? Why not hand them a copy of this story to keep them amused? It’s a cute story, especially for those of use who are Guinea pig fans, but there’s no shortage of action (or poop). Parents with a sense of humor required, but I’m especially looking for reviews by kids aged 9-12. (If they’re younger, you may want to skim the book first.)

Galileo’s mad-scientist parents have done it again: invented something that got completely out of control. This time, it’s a matter replicator in their basement. And a squirrel army out to get rid of the humans. And lots…and LOTS of Guinea pigs out of sewage. Yuck!

Now it’s up to Galileo and his friend, the giant Guinea pig Max, to stop the pigs from being mind-controlled by the squirrels and taking over the world!

You can get the ebook of Guinea Pig Apocalypse at these online retailers, and more: AmazonKoboSmashwordsB&N, and Apple.

 

Giveaway for Reviews: Guinea Pig Apocalypse

Would you like a free copy?

The print version of Guinea Pig Apocalypse is up.  Yay!  You can order it online at Amazon or B&N, and probably a bajillion other online bookstores.

However, I could use some reviews.  I have a giveaway going on at LibraryThing right now; you can scroll down or do a search for “guinea” to find it (there are a lot of different giveaways–if you want free books, it’s a great reason to sign up for LT, because they do this every month).  For a limited time, I will also pass out ebook copies to anyone who drops me a line to request one, barring anything weird, like someone with a signature line that reads “violates copyright for fun and profit.”

 

Guinea Pig Apocalypse

by De Kenyon

What? It’s summer and you have kids who are bored? Who knew?!? Why not hand them a copy of this story to keep them amused? It’s a cute story, especially for those of use who are Guinea pig fans, but there’s no shortage of action (or poop). Parents with a sense of humor required, but I’m especially looking for reviews by kids aged 9-12. (If they’re younger, you may want to skim the book first.)

Galileo’s mad-scientist parents have done it again: invented something that got completely out of control. This time, it’s a matter replicator in their basement. And a squirrel army out to get rid of the humans. And lots…and LOTS of Guinea pigs out of sewage. Yuck!

Now it’s up to Galileo and his friend, the giant Guinea pig Max, to stop the pigs from being mind-controlled by the squirrels and taking over the world!

You can get the ebook of Guinea Pig Apocalypse at these online retailers, and more: AmazonKoboSmashwordsB&N, and Apple.

 

 

Giveaway for Reviews: Guinea Pig Apocalypse

Would you like a free copy?  

The print version of Guinea Pig Apocalypse is up.  Yay!  You can order it online at Amazon or B&N, and probably a bajillion other online bookstores.

However, I could use some reviews.  I have a giveaway going on at LibraryThing right now; you can scroll down or do a search for “guinea” to find it (there are a lot of different giveaways–if you want free books, it’s a great reason to sign up for LT, because they do this every month).  For a limited time, I will also pass out ebook copies to anyone who drops me a line to request one, barring anything weird, like someone with a signature line that reads “violates copyright for fun and profit.”

 

Guinea Pig Apocalypse

by De Kenyon

What? It’s summer and you have kids who are bored? Who knew?!? Why not hand them a copy of this story to keep them amused? It’s a cute story, especially for those of use who are Guinea pig fans, but there’s no shortage of action (or poop). Parents with a sense of humor required, but I’m especially looking for reviews by kids aged 9-12. (If they’re younger, you may want to skim the book first.)

Galileo’s mad-scientist parents have done it again: invented something that got completely out of control. This time, it’s a matter replicator in their basement. And a squirrel army out to get rid of the humans. And lots…and LOTS of Guinea pigs out of sewage. Yuck!

Now it’s up to Galileo and his friend, the giant Guinea pig Max, to stop the pigs from being mind-controlled by the squirrels and taking over the world!

You can get the ebook of Guinea Pig Apocalypse at these online retailers, and more: AmazonKoboSmashwords, B&N, and Apple.

 

First reader request: The Throckmorton Bond

Right. If you would like to be a first reader on a 42K Victorian fantasy short novel with some sex, a soupcon of WTFery, and a gallon of smartassery, let me know; I’ll send it out on Monday.

Sample:

James sprinted to the door and flung it open. In the brief glimpse I had before he slammed it shut after him, I saw the face of the guard, red and angry, lit by the brighter light of the corridor.

“They are dressing in men’s clothes,” James announced. There was an angry statement in a low voice, and then James added, scandalized, “Of course not!” A question, less angry, and James replied, “Lord, man, I don’t know. Whatever it is that gels get up to in men’s clothes. Horseback riding. Putting on tableaux. Trying to sneak past their guards to gad about town.”

Or, I considered, going fishing, and thus in need of fishing-poles from the boathouse where Cook was being held. I crept slowly toward the door.

“When they…ahem, when Miss Elizabeth threatened to begin removing her dress, I exited the room as quickly as possible. It was clear that Nicholas wasn’t about, and that they weren’t to be dissuaded from their plans.”

After another low bit of conversation on the guard’s part, with James making various noises of wordless agreement, the door creaked, and footsteps–two sets–began walking away down the corridor. I reached the door and locked it, leaving the key in the keyhole. The stairs downward creaked, then stopped, and James’s voice called out, “I should keep an eye on them, if I were you. You never know what mischief that girl is going to get up to.”

The panel behind me brushed against the floor as Victoria closed it. “What are we getting up to?” she whispered.

“Take off that dress,” I whispered back, going through my brother’s wardrobe, looking for trousers that might be pinned up or let out to fit Victoria’s decidedly womanish curves. “If we’re going to get into trouble, we may as well get into the kind of scrape that has to be hushed up because it’s so ridiculous that no-one would believe it. We’re going to be village boys out for a few trout, and sneak out and find Cook at the boathouse to question her.”

“Hmph,” she said, but when I turned to face her, my arms full of humble trousers and plain linen shirts, her face bore not an expression of disgust but of satisfaction. “That’ll tweak Conroy to no end, I’ll wager.”

“Indeed,” I said. “Now put on these trousers.”

New Horror Story: Be Good

Available from AmazonB&NKobo, and Smashwords.  Awaiting Apple.

Be Good, by DeAnna Knippling

Be Good

DeAnna Knippling

Laurie Lee can only watch across the fields as the tornado comes barrelling down on the Home, a place where parents send their kids when they’ve been bad–a place from which her Pa has been saving runaways for years. In the destruction, she finds a choice: stand up for what’s right…or “be good.”

 

Cover Updates.

Cover updates on ebooks continues!

Things You Don't Want but Have to Take, by DeAnna Knippling

Things You Don’t Want but Have to Take

DeAnna Knippling

Madeline lived an ordinary life, married to a company man, staying home all day to help out at church, bake cookies, and pretend that she had never been anything but a housewife. Then the past comes back to haunt her: a box, carefully taped up, containing a horror that she’d never be able to get rid of, never be able to hide from. Not for long.

She’s decided it’s time to stop running from the thing in the box.

She just has to find a way to keep David from ever finding out.

Available at AmazonB&NKobo, and Smashwords.  Still waiting on Apple to upload (le sigh).

 

The Goddess of the Floods, by DeAnna Knippling

Goddess of the Floods

DeAnna Knippling

The gods can build in a single night a tower that would require the toil of many men over many seasons. Balathu, chief of scribes, brings the King’s offerings to the gods. Balathu is a virtuous man, but the tools of the gods—a mysterious woman, made of water, and forbidden to any man’s touch—are lovely in his sight, and in the sight of the King.

Truly, weak men are always seized by fate.

Available at AmazonB&NKobo, and Smashwords.  Still waiting on Apple to upload.

 

 

Abominable, by DeAnna Knippling

Abominable

DeAnna Knippling

You’re just a guy who fell in love. Fell in love with a woman and got her pregnant. And married her. And helped her rebuild her family farm. And had a kid. And…and now she’s leaving you. You need something to ease the pain.

You need something warm.

The only problem is that you’re not the only one. Something’s outside in the snowstorm…and wants to get in.

Available at AmazonB&NKobo, and Smashwords.  Still waiting on Apple to upload.

 

New Horror Story: Be Good

Available from AmazonB&NKobo, and Smashwords.  Awaiting Apple.

Be Good, by DeAnna Knippling

Be Good

DeAnna Knippling

Laurie Lee can only watch across the fields as the tornado comes barrelling down on the Home, a place where parents send their kids when they’ve been bad–a place from which her Pa has been saving runaways for years. In the destruction, she finds a choice: stand up for what’s right…or “be good.”

Updated Covers.

Cover updates on ebooks continues!

Things You Don't Want but Have to Take, by DeAnna Knippling

Things You Don’t Want but Have to Take

DeAnna Knippling

Madeline lived an ordinary life, married to a company man, staying home all day to help out at church, bake cookies, and pretend that she had never been anything but a housewife. Then the past comes back to haunt her: a box, carefully taped up, containing a horror that she’d never be able to get rid of, never be able to hide from. Not for long.

She’s decided it’s time to stop running from the thing in the box.

She just has to find a way to keep David from ever finding out.

Available at Amazon, B&N, Kobo, and Smashwords.  Still waiting on Apple to upload (le sigh).

The Goddess of the Floods, by DeAnna Knippling

Goddess of the Floods

DeAnna Knippling

The gods can build in a single night a tower that would require the toil of many men over many seasons. Balathu, chief of scribes, brings the King’s offerings to the gods. Balathu is a virtuous man, but the tools of the gods—a mysterious woman, made of water, and forbidden to any man’s touch—are lovely in his sight, and in the sight of the King.

Truly, weak men are always seized by fate.

Available at AmazonB&NKobo, and Smashwords.  Still waiting on Apple to upload.

Abominable, by DeAnna Knippling

Abominable

DeAnna Knippling

You’re just a guy who fell in love. Fell in love with a woman and got her pregnant. And married her. And helped her rebuild her family farm. And had a kid. And…and now she’s leaving you. You need something to ease the pain.

You need something warm.

The only problem is that you’re not the only one. Something’s outside in the snowstorm…and wants to get in.

Available at AmazonB&NKobo, and Smashwords.  Still waiting on Apple to upload.

Mecharai: What to do with all those empty video stores?

Lee asked me last week what should go in the empty video rental store locations.

I like thinking up business ideas: I don’t actually want to do the work of implementing them, I just like thinking them out.  I should start using these businesses in stories.  Sheesh.  My last one was for a corner pan-ethnic grocery store that focused on providing neat, healthful, and easily-made food, customizeable by neighborhood…spending more time on data collection than perhaps other stores would.  Sadly, Walmart has stepped into that gap with mid-sized groceries that provide cheap crap food that you can’t make into much (unless you like boiled potato chips) and that resemble every other Walmart, everywhere, only with just the grocery.

Anyway, after some brainstorming on the video rental store problem, I ended up with Mecharai.

General concept: Internet Cafe.

Why another Internet Cafe?: Increasingly, people need comfortable places to meet and do stuff together but don’t want to do it in the privacy of their own homes, what with one thing and another.  Thus, coffee shops.  Another example would be that of the tabletop gaming store:  a place for people to socialize and entertain themselves.

However, coffee shops are places where you have to be quiet, and you’re also easily interruped by non-like-minded folk.  Internet cafes tend not to be places to socialize so much as let your eyes glaze over as you check email–very isolating.  And gaming stores with open tables are (I’m sorry) not as widely spread or as profitable as they used to be (well, from my experience, anyway).  Comic book shops used to be this way, too, but I don’t see that happening anymore.

And so: why not have a geek-minded place where people can meet and socialize in a way they’ve become comfortable with?

Market: Young adult to about 35 or so, more men than women.  (Probably.)

Features:

  • Espresso bar.
  • Vending machines, possibly automat machines (the kind where you open an individual door to dispense pie and the like.
  • Microwave.
  • Preferential relationships set up with nearby delivery restaurants, not for cheaper food so much as more prompt service.
  • LAN stations with popular games installed.
  • Places to set up your own systems.
  • Quite possibly Very Large Screens to display Firefly marathons, latest episodes of beloved series, tournament play, or particularly intense battles.
  • Soundproofish side rooms for actual meetings, study, projects, tabletop gaming, cards, etc.  A nap policy should be put in place, but I’m not sure what yet.
  • An open area in the middle for adaptability, with extra tables/chairs available, probably with beanbags or some such when not otherwise in use.
  • Onsite tech.  Must be able to troubleshoot LANs and brew a mean espresso.
  • In areas where warranted, Mech pods.

Decor: Ukiyo-e art, but not traditional ukiyo-e art.  Ukiyo-e art with mechs.  Mech-samurai aesthetic, in other words.

Rules of thumb:

  • Keep the techs doing tech work 80% of the time.  Not so much fixing computers but jumping into games, getting people to try new games, facilitating tournaments, passing along funny cat videos.  Keeping this flexible yet consistent is going to take some finessing on the operating procedures, but I think it’s worth it.
  • Do not split tech vs. nontech jobs.  To work there, you have to be a tech.  And you have to be willing to make espresso/work on backend shit/count the drawer.  A lot of the tech guys I know who are younger (under 30) have been stuffed into tech-only jobs from an early age, so this will be an issue training them–but I think it’ll be a great benefit, with people who are smarter and more flexible than if people were kept in separate tracks.  Non-techs can get hired but contingent on getting certs or showing other significant benchmarks.  So benefits should reflect $$ for continuing ed.
  • Create a community, both of clients and of people who used to work for the company, to help spread the business and to establish insider contacts with gaming companies and other tech companies, with eventual goals of having games premier at the company or other exclusive, preferred treats.
  • Experiment with new tech: new software, new hardware, new ways of approaching the idea of “game.”  Have one location with Arduino toys.  One location with a prototype Jenga game where the center of gravity shifts based on some algorithm, I don’t know. Rotate new toys through locations.

Needs satisfied:

  • A public geek-cave, that is, an area away from people who can’t deal with a house full of geeks; a place to host stuff with people you don’t actually in your house.
  • Caffeine.
  • Community space for people who hate the forced togetherness of a lot of in-person communities:  a very informal, irreverant community.
  • Tech help not invested in Selling You More Crap; SMEs on site.
  • A place to try out new stuff–oh, like a treadmill station.

I’m not sure how to approach the whole liquor issue.  On the one hand, it would be nice to be able to get a beer.   On the other hand–issues.  I’m going to say, “Probably no alcohol,” based on keeping techs doing tech work 80% of the time, and also to foster community.  A gaming store that doesn’t bring in teens is going to weed itself out of a business in short order.

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén