Book Review: Artemis Fowl, the Lost Colony

by Eoin Colfer.

Lest you think that all I did this week was read (and cook), I listened to Conrad’s Fate and The Lost Colony as audiobooks at work during a marathon session at work of doing something that required little brain power and a lot of time.  I was about to go maaaaaaaad.

Arty, Arty.  You’re almost too nice now, aren’t you?  So ruthlessly noble.

I’m tempted to say The Lost Colony is a book to teach kids to be tolerant of outsiders, including gay people.  Or, if you are an outsider, how to tolerate yourself.  The plot revolves around the lost colony of fairies (demons), who have taken their island off to limbo for a number of millenia.  The male demons (you don’t hear much about the female ones) are split into two groups, regular demons and warlocks.  The regular demons go through a warp that changes them from World-of-Warcraft sized imps into full-grown demon stock, in a twisting, agonizing rush of testosterone.  The regular demons sound like your stereotypical jock, slavering over the thought of violence.  The warlocks, however, which are thought to be extinct, never warp and are always imps, but have more than two brain cells to rub together, enjoy cooked food, and can hold a conversation.  And never fall in lust with violence.

Hm.

Well, I have no problem with that.  We outsiders have always tried out out-outside each other, to make ourselves slightly more inside, whatever that happened to mean.  Nevermind that; we’re too interesting to not get along with each other.

Fortunately, none of the characters is the slightest bit preachy.  In fact, the warlock is almost hopelessly whiny, at first.  He doesn’t get handed anything – he hands it to himself.

Anyway, enough about theme which may or may not be intended.