…the art of splitting people into two groups and trying to be both of them.

Pantsers:

  • WTF, dude, none of this makes any sense.
  • Character voice is good.
  • Lyrical, poetic.
  • Starts with a showy bit of action or witty dialogue that comes completely out of nowhere.
  • “But can’t you just get this?  Are you stupid?  I explain this on page 50…”

Plotters:

  • Stiff, wooden characters and speech.
  • Actually has some kind of sane overall structure.
  • Logical.
  • Starts by explaining the crap out of everything in the most laborious way possible, but manages to still be confusing.
  • “I’m just writing the movie in my head.  It’s not my fault that you’re bored.”