Something new.

So I’ve started studying for A+.

Yesterday I had a moment of complete zzzt, which ended up with me begging for Lee to hold me and let me blubber. Going into computers–which is the plan–is something completely new.

I’m not worried about the test. Tests. Pfft.

I’m worried about being able to fix people’s computers. Which makes it sound more noble than it is; I’m worried about failing more than I’m worried about people having expensive paperweights.

Lee told me not to worry; I’m very smart. I told myself not to worry; the worst thing I can do is make an ass of myself, and I survive that on a daily basis.

No, it’s just fear of the unknown. I haven’t done anything really new to myself for several years, which is part of the reason I’m ready to get out of pure tech editing. A risk: what if I have to change? –Self, you will have to change. You’re doing this in order to change.

The logical brain, unable to anticipate what new logics it will have to use, panics. What if other people are better at computers than I am? –Self, you better hope so, because you’re going to need help.

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