Ray vs. the seagulls
The Gods of Relaxation have been propitiated once more. Ray and I went to Pass-a-Grill Beach on the south end of the St. Petersburg side of Tampa Bay, which was mainly deserted, and hung out.
We stopped at a smoothie place on the way over and got sammitches and smoothies, laid out the blanket and
Ray took out her sammitch
The only warning we had
was feather
on the back of my head
and a sound like someone hitting
a mylar balloon overhead
goodbye half a sammitch
the top half
white bread
red tomatoes
green basil
–it was a caprese.
The gulls fought over it
one grey gull in particular
puffing up its feathers and circling
around us
chasing off our harassers
then throwing its throat
upward in a graceful curve
and wailing
with a pitiable kitten peeeep
shamefully I laughed
as Ray covered the rest of her sammitch with both hands
and tried to glare the rest of it back in place
dark hair drawn across her deadly eyes
while I lost my shit.
she may never forgive
she will *never* forget
“It wasn’t even that good of a sammitch
it was meh.”
My wrap was fine though
and later I gave her the part
where the tortilla folds over
carbohydrate distortion of space and time
and she tore off pieces and flung them at the gulls
hours later we were still surrounded
the mewing gull still circling
I stood chest deep in the water for half an hour
then read about coroners and
napped on the beach
and when I woke with a crick in my neck
she was still smiling.