This is petty. I realize this.

I went to Panera Bread yesterday to do some writing (out of work early), and this really annoying guy was working at the bakery counter. Luckily, he didn’t take my order.

For example, this older gent walks up to the counter with an older lady, pretty obviously his wife. His wife starts talking to the other girl at the counter, ordering food. This guy yells, “Are you looking at anything in particular?!?” because all older people are mostly deaf (in case you didn’t know that). The older gent says, “Just wishing.” The guy yells–yells–“Wishes can become reality!!!”* The older guy shrugs, and says something about being on a special diet. Without pause, the guy turns to the next people in line, who are actually just coming through the door, “Can I help you?!?”

A parody of great customer service.

I’ve seen this guy before, I swear I have. When I worked at Wells Fargo, there was a guy at the north Panera Bread store that was always there in the mornings. He had this bright, annoying voice, a romanesque haircut, a tic with his hands, and it was pretty obvious the other employees hated him.

When I first heard this guy at the Powers Panera open his mouth, I knew it was the same guy. Same voice, same attitude, same tic with his hands. But his HAIR was different! It looked like a wig–imagine an Elvis hairdo, levitated by additional, teased hair, to a full inch over skull height! It wasn’t extra highs and swoops–no, the whole thing was an inch straight up. The sides were flat against his skull, too.

I couldn’t help it. I had to laugh. I’m sure it wasn’t the case, but I kept thinking it: Shhhh…he’s in disguise!

* Some people speak in multiple punctuation marks. Really.

2 thoughts on “Shhhh….”

  1. they might speak in multiple punctuation marks but they aren’t insane unless they use five exclamation marks!!!!! but only five.

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