Warning: Cusswords.

I’d never heard of Uncyclopedia before. Pity.

WALLACE: When we announced that you were going to be on “Fox News Sunday,” I got a lot of e-mail from viewers. We all agreed that you are a dirty scumbag, but let’s be reasonable about this. Most of the veiwers wanted me to ask you: Did you have sexual relations with Osama bin Laden, and if so, why didn’t you do more to put him out of business? Also, what sexual positions was Osama fond of?

“We’re thinking of inviting him onto the O’Reilly Factor, just to see what would happen,” commented the stage director. “O’Reilly would be much more popular if he were eaten by a Democrat.”