October 2023 Fiction Project: The Witch House – Oct 19

Stepdad Dave came back.

I want to talk to him.

Mom won’t let me be alone in the same room as him.

Mom is not Mom.

I still remember the black thing in her mouth as she was standing over me. It looked like she was going to spit it on me.

I think the Mom that was sad and tired and wrapped up in blankets and didn’t want to eat, that was the Mom that was trying to fight. The Mom that seems like the Old Mom before Dad died, she is the Fake Mom, the way Fake Lola is the Fake Lola.

Why do I trust Fake Lola but not Fake Mom?

Should I not trust Fake Lola?

💀

Today I saw Ghost Cat.

Yesterday I could see black swirling smoke everywhere, and when it was near Lola it crawled up into her lap and I could see a cat shape.

Today I saw him.

I came downstairs this morning while Lola was taking a shower. Mom had already left to go somewhere and Stepdad Dave hadn’t slept in his bed. (They have different bedrooms.) The stairs were dark and the foyer at the bottom was almost dark except for one sunny spot where sunlight came through the window in the kitchen on top of the sink and shone through the kitchen door and onto the floor. It made the wood on the floor look like caramel candy covered in dust and dirty footprints because nobody cleaned the floor for a while.

I stopped and said, “That spot looks like a perfect spot for a cat.”

One second there was only dark swirling smoke flowing through the house. That was weird. Then Ghost Cat stepped out of the smoke toward me, twitching his tail.

I crouched down and held out a hand to see if he wanted to be petted.

He walked over to me and put his nose against my fingertips.

It felt cold.

Then he rubbed my fingers with the side of his head.

I could feel cold fur. Then his ear touched my finger and I could feel the shape of his ear.

It was cold, too.

I said, “Are you my cat or Lola’s cat?”

He didn’t answer, just rubbed his head against my fingers.

I said, “Do you eat tuna, like in my imagination? I used to make up stories about you when I was little.”

He took a step forward and rubbed the top of his head against my fingers.

I scratched behind his ears and he turned his head this way and that way, so my fingers scratched the parts he liked best.

“I wrote about you in my journal. I said you scared Paige that one time. I was trying to write a story like it was true.”

He purred and moved so that I was scratching the back of his shoulders. I could feel bones through skin under his fur, but it was all cold, very cold.

“I’m scared, Ghost Cat. I’m scared of my mom but I’m not scared of Fake Lola. I’m scared of Stepdad Dave but not the same way I’m scared of my mom. I’m scared of going to school. I’m scared of staying home.”

Ghost Cat circled under my hand until his tail curled around my wrist.

I said, “I have to cook supper again. Do you want a treat? Can you eat treats? I am going to make kasadillas quesadillas for supper. Do you want some cheese?”

Ghost Cat’s tail shook, and then he was smoke again and I couldn’t see him. The sunny spot had moved.

I stood up.

Stepdad Dave was standing behind me.

The hairs went up on the back of my neck. He smelled like coldness, like the cold smell in some woods away from the town, where there’s snow on the ground and all the dead leaves are frozen. I thought his breath would steam in the air but it didn’t.

He said, “We should talk, you and Lola and I. Go to Lola’s house after school today. I’ll meet you there.”

I said okay.

He walked into the kitchen, past the stove, and into the back kitchen. He went around the corner and I couldn’t see him for a second.

I looked for him, but he was gone.

I used to think I was going crazy because of the note falling out of Paige’s pocket. I thought it was my fault the note fell out. I remember trying to pull and pull it out of her pocket, while she was at the white board. And then it did fall out.

Now I know that crazy isn’t a big enough word for what I am.

I feel worse because I know now that I pulled the note out of Paige’s pocket on purpose.

I feel better because I know now that I pulled the note out of Paige’s pocket on purpose.

Both things things are true.