Anxiety attack…failure…stuck in one’s head Ugh. I’m sitting with an anxiety attack and it’s unpleasant. My usual tricks seem to be making things worse, BUT I’m not actually losing my shit, so I’m going to try writing through it and read it again later. Yesterday morning I did well and got a lot done. Ray […]

Fell in love with a girl back in the day…coming to grips with the past Another one I’m not sure I should write, especially not while I’m upset, but I walked out to Most Favored Tree tonight looking for wisdom and all I got was: don’t be silent. My apologies, this walks closer than I

Borderline assholes…Kurt Cobain…boundaries and hurt I’m behind, with a few of these to get caught up on. An intense few days. … Trigger warning: suicide (not me! but I talk about Kurt Cobain) & assholes/abuse.–I’m not joking around with this warning. SERIOUSLY consider not reading this. Message me if you read this and feel yucky.

Happy Pride Month!…objectivity and Robin Williams’s floating head Happy Pride Month! This is my first pride month sort-of out. (Mostly out?) It’s nice. Before, I was always in a place of going, “I have to walk the line between closeted and ally *extremely* carefully.” I didn’t want to post any ally stuff; it felt like

Poem, “Burden” …rant about learning and emotion Side quest #1. Wrote this the other night under the boughs of Most Favored Tree. It doesn’t work, and yet I can’t change it to anything else. I guess if you need it, it’s for you. “LEAVE IT.”–Okay okay, subconscious, I left it! I didn’t use to write

Struggling with a difficult task…you are not a burden On the one hand, I’ve had a difficult day. On the other hand, I’ve had multiple people do things that made me feel known and loved, and I took care of myself, so I’m smiling. When I told Ray about the difficult day I was having,

Theater: Jobsite’s Alice production…why I love social media, despite everything Apologies, I have to get caught up on these! Ray and I went to the Jobsite theater group’s production of Alice and it was excellent. Music, lyrics, and book by the troop themselves. The theater is tiny! There was a stage with wings, and it

Jobsite Alice…how to give yourself over and become a “natural” Ray and I are going to go to a black box production of the Alice stories, by a local Tampa theater group (Jobsite) on Friday. There will be singing, dancing, puppets, nuttiness. As much as I love Broadway shows–as much as I feel they necessarily

I don’t run this human, I just work here…inputs and outputs…sweetness More adventures in “I don’t run this human, I just work here.” Over the last few days, I finished a scene I’d been struggling with for a while, and it went better than great. Just lovely. One of those “ah yes, you ARE an