Adventures du jour!
The last few days have been something of a blur; I had a brain reset that hit pretty hard at the same time that I’m almost out of ADD meds, and I dropped a bunch of balls (but also got a lot of cool stuff done). I keep a spiral-bound notebook next to my laptop, though, and it’s full of notes over things I was reading and doing, so I can kind of reconstruct.
Mental health appointment later this week.
Yoga: I figured out how to release downward through my hips so a) when the one hip does its painful clenching, I can interrupt it, and b) I don’t build up as much tension there in general. I’ve also had more luck opening up the chest area, although (because of so many years of hunching over to type) my level of flexibility there is probably about where a healthy person’s would be rather than anything impressive. My knees and ankles are feeling a little more stable most of the time, too.
One of the more interesting things about yoga is that the more I develop a set of muscles, the more range movement I get access to while dancing around madly, which opens up new options for types of songs to dance to. More specifically, a bit more rap has started to creep into dance breaks during writing, because my thighs can handle lowering my center of gravity more. Kind of cool, although I just tried to do some Missy Elliott and got through about half a song before I hit NOPE.
Walks: A lot of Goth Girl and the Goob on walks lately, although not at the same time–not a surprise, since I’ve been writing their scenes. Mr. Assassin’s up next, but he didn’t check in this morning–although he’s been stepping through with the work on the hips.
I’ve been mainly covering the same territory on my walks lately, which is annoying. I think I’m at a point where a couple of mornings a week I might take the car and drive to a new location and walk from there. A cemetery
might be the perfect treat.
Photos: I juuuuust had the autofocus trained and they did some shit to it again this morning as I was getting back to the apartment. Suddenly I was fighting with settings again. LOOK STOPPIT.
This morning I accidentally knocked a flower off someone’s hibiscus bush, then ran off with it like a thief. I try not to touch or move things while I’m out and about, but this crossed my risk vs. reward threshold. When I got home, I sketched it and gave it a quick watercolor tint and was quite pleased. I haven’t painted since I started taking pictures regularly–last sketch/painting session May, started up pictures August–and the time I’ve spent developing an eye for images really shows (to me). The sketching was easier, more intuitive. The tinting felt easier, too, but I kept is simple on purpose. I’m just good enough at it to enjoy doing it.
Study: I’m still working on the AI class by Andrew Yang; it seems soooooo easy, but then I get back into it and go, “WAIT WHAT.” Another one of those things that looks more simple and straightforward than it really is.
The Kris & Dean class I’ve been working on is tied to a short story assignment; I finished this week’s assignment (after going overboard AND generating a bunch of cool AI art to go with it) and started next week’s. I’m not as happy with this one, though, so I might ditch it and start over. It’s not bad. But then again, I *should* probably keep pushing forward on this story; it may just be me going, “But this isn’t meeeee” and not wanting to experiment. Side note, just barely scratching the surface of political corruption in Florida is a genuine eye-opener. I can’t express how corrupt things are here; it’s political grift all the way down. My disgust with the situation might be affecting my enjoyment to writing this story.
AI: I think I’m just going to have to accept that there’s going to be a lot of back and forth on AI for a while, probably the rest of my life. One group will go, “AI IS THEFT!” and another group will go, “AI OVERCOMES BARRIERS!” And they’re both right, but neither is right, etc.–I saw an extremely poignant (to me) argument that AI art can overcome the barriers to becoming a professional-level artist for people who can’t afford to do so. It’s easy to say, “Anyone can become an artist!” but becoming an actual, no-shit artist is an investment in time, mindful practice, and supplies. And (surprise!) it can be harder for marginalized communities to get access to what they need to make art, particularly art that draws on classical art traditions. AI art isn’t a replacement for actual artists, but it can help create things that *should* have already existed, for those who have fought for representation and failed to find it.
Unfortunately, I follow a bunch of AI folks now (particularly folks of color) and uhhhhh I can’t remember who made that point.
I remain hopeful that AI will solve more problems than it causes. There’s no denying that it’s causing problems, though.
Misc: I wrote an email to some close friends in my circle of trust that included a bunch of coming-out stuff in it. After the Club Q shooting, I decided that I had to make some changes and that being done passing as straight was one of them. I wrote that all up last night and sent it, with FAR less stress than I usually have sending out short story submissions. It was frankly pleasant to have done: one more piece of myself reclaimed. MINE. Imma wait to see if I put my foot in my mouth with anything, then post here, I think. I suspect a couple of people will feel awkward about it and a couple of people will just roll their eyes with a “well duh.” Frankly, I think taking all these freaking selfies helped. (Plus talking to a friend.)
As with anything I post, if you need to talk/vent/sympathize about anything on the subject just message me. About once every other week or so I get a message or comment from someone saying, “I’m so glad you said…”
To paraphrase the same friend, it’s not TMI if you needed to hear it.