Month: March 2004

Beware. Depo shot yesterday. Kicking in today.

Please disregard anything insightful I say today: it’s a lie, I tell you, a lie.

Three months of hormones are coursing through my body.

Lee said, “You look like you need a hug all the time.”


Mabye I should go find some chocolate and kill it.



I’m still waiting for the first gorram interview for the tech position, by the way. Things crawl. Also posted for a QC position.

My supervisor is a…not a saint, but you can see why there are such things as saints when you understand her situation here. She’s not a patient woman. She’s freaking out. She’s losing staff left and right, because juicy positions are opening up all over the place, nobody will give her anybody else to fill the empty spots, and she just keeps encouraging us to try for the next thing. A good woman–not “saintly,” but human and forcing herself to be good for the rest of us.


Lee and I “switched.” He was doing full-time and I was working part-time at opposite hours–so we could keep Ray at home. He’s now doing fewer hours and I’m working full-time.

I like it. I feel like I can get a day’s work done. Satisfying, when you’ve been fighting for a year to get a day’s work done but failing. Daily.

I farted around tonight, had some sushi (which may have come to symbolize both spring and non-motherhood for me), read a book, drank a decaf mocha–in short, luxuriated. When I came home, Lee had cleaned the house, made supper for himself and Ray, and run herd all day.

He looked like I must have looked when he would fall all over himself trying to make me feel less motherly. I asked if I could do anything–he looked so frustrated.

I think we’ll be okay, but there are just days that go on far, far, far too long when you have a toddler, no matter how well they go. Maybe that’s something you can only realize when you see it on someone else’s face.

Swan Palace.

From the menu of my favorite Chinese place in town:

Honey Glazed Walnut Shrimp: Shimp in a light batter in snow-white sarcastic lemon, in comination with mayonnaise, surrounding with honey glazed roasted walnut and topped wtih sesame seeds. What a tantalizing combination!

–I haven’t been brave enough to try it yet.

Canton Steamed Whole Fish: Steamed and topped with ginger and scallions with our special light soy sauce. Healthy and nutritional. Dietician’s lover! (Please allow approzimately 30 minutes for preparation.)

–No comment.

Thoughts on Writing.

Talking to Lee last night, here are some things that I know:

  • When you sit down to write a story, you should ask yourself “Why?”

  • If all you’re trying to do is entertain someone, that’s good but probably not honest.

  • If you’re trying to “make people think” by telling them your opinion, that’s not a story.

  • Everybody hates the story that’s about rape or abortion or God or whatever–about one thing in particular.

  • Unless…it’s a good story.

  • What makes a good story is that there’s something at risk.

  • Including your own opinion.

  • If it’s a story that’s just your opinion, and you never make your opinion at risk, you’re just preaching.

  • Even if you’re preaching that preaching is bad.

  • Nobody wants to read a story about “God is good.”

  • But people might read a story about “God is good. God is all-powerful. Evil exists.”

  • There’s this Esther Friesner story, whose title I can’t remember, about abortion.

  • She’s said about it, “People tell me they’re not sure after reading the story whether I’m for or against abortion. That’s what I was trying for.”

  • So if your story is good versus evil, you have to make both sides strong enough to win.

  • Or whatever.

  • Because if it was a foregone conclusion, you shouldn’t have written it in the first place.

Right. You know you’re doing something right when you dream about Jimmy Stewart.

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