I wrote this about a year ago now, when Ray was in kindergarten.*

They said it couldn’t be done. But I am Juan. And Ella remembered the toothpaste.

Miss Breegan poured my orange juice and when she didn’t look I squeezed and squeezed and Ella said “take the cap off stoopid” and Miss Breegan said “Ella hush” but she wasn’t looking, so I did and it all went blllllllllup into the cup and I stirred the orange juice with my lucky crayon and drank toothpaste orange juice but it wasn’t gross enough so I stuck a finger all the way down on my tongue and wiggled it until I puked brown bubbles and Ella said, “Miss Breegan, Juan blew chunks all over my uuuuuuunicorn” and Jasmine screamed and Miss Breegan said “Oh Juan” and walked me to the nurse’s office but at the last second I escaped and ran outside and grabbed my jetpack from the bushes and I flew to my dad’s house and made him go to mom’s house and say sorry and she said sorry back.

They said it couldn’t be done. But I am Juan. And I can do anything.

*About a month ago, two little boys in first grade ran away from school. They had a plan and everything. Ray was unable to report why they did it, though.