I send hugs to the gay couples I knew in Iowa. Hopefully this helps with the adoption situation, too.
A couple I knew had started proceedings to adopt a little boy they had fostered, but he was taken away when the social agency found out they were gay and wanted to adopt instead of just feed, clothe, and care for him. Years later, they carried around his picture. He was an ugly pug of a baby, dressed in a diaper and angel wings. Every time J— saw me, she would show me his picture and kiss it.
I didn’t dare tell her he was an ugly baby, you know?