So this kid tells his father a bad joke. And his father tells me. And I, admittedly not the best joke teller (or rememberer; I only have two long jokes and two short ones at hand most of the time) in the world, tell my daughter.

Here’s the joke:

“An actor wants to get a part as a pirate, so he cuts his leg off. But he doesn’t get the job. Know why? He cut off the wrong leg!”

She’s sitting in the back seat of Lee’s Jeep. She looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Okay, okay, I’m a bad joke teller. Fair enough, I’m thinking.

She says, “Mom, everyone knows you have to cut off this leg [points to right leg] if you’re going to be a pirate.”

Duh.

Later, she says, “Mom, do you want to hear a joke? My friend [friend’s name redacted] told it to me.”

“Okay,” I say.

“A boy, it’s his first day of school, his very first day, his teacher asks, ‘What is your name?’ and he says, ‘Buttcheeks.’ And the teacher says, ‘If you say that one more time, I’m going to send you to the principal’s office. Now what is your name? And the boy says, ‘Buttcheeks!’ [Giggles]

“The teacher sends him to the principal’s office and the principal says, ‘What is your name?’ and the boys says [more giggles] ‘Buttcheeks!’ And the principal says, ‘If you say that one more time, I’m going to send you to the cop, and he will shoot you dead. Now, what is your name?’ And the boy says, ‘My name is Buttcheeks!’

“The principal sends him to the cop and the cop says, ‘What is your name?’ and the boy says [she has to stop to catch her breath] ‘My name is Buttcheeks!’ and the cop says, ‘If you say that one more time, I’m going to shoot you in the head. Now what is your name?’ And the boy says, ‘Buttcheeks!’ So the cop shoots him dead.

“The boy’s mother comes to the police station and says to the cop, ‘Oh my poor Buttcheeks!’ And the cops says, ‘You can sit down if you want.’ But the woman says, ‘Buttcheeks was the name of my son!'”

[Complete loss of cool. Apparently, that’s the end of the joke.]

Nobody believes kids, you know. It’s a shame.