QOTD: “If the dorks and the non-dorks ever got in a war, I wouldn’t make it as a double agent.” –Anon.

Their eyes were watching GOD. So Ray and I went to the zoo today. As usual, after three hours of spazzing out, she fell asleep on the way home. She’d only been asleep for half an hour when I pulled up to the house, and I had a good book. I parked in the shade

Work. Work was work again today.

Six Sigma. I went to a Six Sigma simulation class today. It was the most fun I’ve ever had at work, ever. We took a ten-minute process and reduced it to ten seconds. I got to bounce around and shout out ideas. I could do that for a living.

Donuts. It used to be that all you could get were crappy donuts, at least where I lived. They were all cake donuts, and they all tasted slightly stale. Then I had my first Krispy Kreme. “Ah!” I said. “There’s nothing wrong with this donut! What a relief!” I was on vacation. When I went

Family resemblance. Walking along with my mother while she was in town. Sign. “HEALTHY JAPANESE FOOD!” I said, “But I don’t want healthy Japanese food.” Mom said, “I thought you liked Japanese.” “When it’s dead! Not when it’s healthy!” She said, “I wished you’d been around more when Andy was growing up. The girls have

Folks. My folks came out to visit. They were supposed to be here on Wednesday, but arrived on Sunday afternoon, having forgotten to call before they left. At the time, I thought it was strange–they were always so fanatical about calling before they left, in case “something happened.” Cell phones. Social changes. They had three

Julia Child. Julia Child died on Friday. What a good lady.

I usually limit myself to four-letter words. English: May the malevolent hedgehogs soil your cornflakes. Irish: Go salaí na gráinneoga cealgrúnacha do chuid calóga arbhair. Phonetic: guh SAH-lee nuh GRAWN-yoh-guh KYA-luhg-roo-nuh-khuh duh khwihj KAH-lo-guh AH-ruh-wir. An tInneal Mallachtaí via Randy.

Conversation. LEE [Insert casual insult here.] DE What the hell did you say that for? LEE God told me to. DE God sure tells you to do a say a lot of petty, stupid stuff to me. LEE Yup. DE I mean, he could be telling you to do something important, like take over the