Month: March 2007 Page 1 of 5

Don’t be anti,

Be pro. Warning: Sexy food. The vegetarian commercial Fox didn’t want you to see!

Hm…my sister is a vegetarian.

(via Lee)

Collectively Speaking…

It’s a(n):

Outback of Aussies
Shrewdness of Apes
Congress of Baboons
Convulsion of Belly Dancers
Bellowing of Bullfinches
Clowder of Cats
Gulp of Cormorants
Quicksand of Credit Cards
Rash of Dermatologists
Mob of Emu
Hoard of Gerbils
Implausibility of Gnu
Skein of Geese
Wealth of Information
Husk of Jackrabbit
Neverthriving of Jugglers
Puddling of Mallards
Set of Mathematicians
Buffoonery of Orangutans
Pandamonium of Parrots
Rhumba of Rattlesnakes
Harem of Seals
Hurtle of Sheep
Blessing of Unicorns

You know you’re a technical writer when…

…you type ‘Wild Ass Guess’ and automatically correct it to ‘Wild Ass Guess (WAG)’.

The Dame…

…is done! 10th and final script sent off.

I feel about like this.

Well, not really, but who needs an excuse? “Hey, my little robot guy’s head got blown off…is that bad?”

(via Randy)

Better

Ray’s in the shower, playing a recorder (I keep hoping it’ll help drown her out). I wonder if all parents of children who are just starting to play musical instruments have to treat their kids like burn victims.

Don’t worry, honey. It’ll get better.

This is what happens…

…when our secretary runs out of gummi bears.

Where have all the gummi bears gone, and where is all the gum?
Who ate all my jelly beans (except the licorice ones)?
Weren’t there some skittles on top of the TV?
Late at night, everything’s closed, and I’m craving something sweet…

I need a sugar rush!

Please note I do like black jelly beans.

Women and Guns.

To me, guns are not appealing. They’re loud. I can conceive of them going awry much more easily than I can of them doing what they’re supposed to. They smell weird. No, in my writerly imagination, people are more often poisoned than they are shot — it’s so easy to carry on everyday behavior in a story if it’s murder by poison, easier to hide the murderer and lay down false trails.

But sometimes only a gun will do. What would a female character carry on her? Possibly a 9mm, unless she were about 5′ 11″ and good arm strength.

“Oh, I Just Couldn’t Use a Gun: Pondering Your Means of Self-Protection”
Women & Guns magazine.
Excerpts from Women’s First Handgun Purchase
Pistol Packin’ Mama” from Style magazine
Gun Makers Focus on What Women Want”

Pet Shop Boys

The problem with the Pet Shop Boys is that the lead singer always reminds me of Eric Idle.

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you’re chewing on life’s gristle
Don’t grumble, give a whistle
And this’ll help things turn out for the best…

And…always look on the bright side of life…
Always look on the light side of life…

Sometimes you’re better off dead
There’s gun in your hand and it’s pointing at your head
You think you’re mad, too unstable
Kicking in chairs and knocking down tables
In a restaurant in a West End town
Call the police, there’s a madman around
Running down underground to a dive bar
In a West End town

See? For a second you thought they were the same song, didn’t you?

Passover Coke.

Coca-Cola makes non-high-fructose-corn-syrup Coke during the Passover season — it’s the kind with yellow caps.

Don’t eat the Jello!

Not only do the cops have to watch out for copycat killers, but the editors have to watch out for copycat writers, I bet:

Prosecutors said tests on their bodies showed they were poisoned with ethylene glycol, a sweet but odorless chemical in antifreeze. During Turner’s 2004 trial they suggested it could have been placed in foods such as Jell-O.

Dude. That says murder mystery to me right there. Lutheran church potluck…figure out how to poison only one portion of a communal jello dish. Hee!

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