You can get Guinea Pig Apocalypse at these online retailers, with more to come: Amazon, Kobo, Smashwords.  B&N had issues when I went to post the story so it’s running late, should be up tomorrow.  Amazon’s alllllmost there.  I can feel it.

Pleeeeaase keep in mind that this is middle-grade fiction, ages 9-13 or so, and read this before giving to kids younger than that.  Some Guinea pigs die, and the word “poop” is used a goodly amount.

Guinea Pig Apocalypse, by De Kenyon

Guinea Pig Apocalypse

by De Kenyon

Galileo’s mad-scientist parents have done it again: invented something that got completely out of control.  This time, it’s a matter replicator in their basement.  And a squirrel army out to get rid of the humans.  And lots…and LOTS of Guinea pigs out of sewage.  Yuck!

Now it’s up to Galileo and his friend, the giant Guinea pig Max, to stop the pigs from being mind-controlled by the squirrels and taking over the world!

Ta-daaa!  This cover has now been branded :)  You can pick it up at Amazon, B&N, Kobo, Apple, or Smashwords.  First published at Silverthought Online.

In other news, Ray has approved “Guinea Pig Apocalypse” with minor changes.  I hope to get Haunted Empire up as an ebook this week, but we’ll see – I’m also planning to turn it into a short print book.  Fingers crossed.

 

The Business that Must Be Conducted in the Dark, by DeAnna Knippling

The Business that Must Be Conducted in the Dark

by DeAnna Knippling

Annalise thought she knew her programming: take care of Master Zorac in all ways. But especially, and most deliciously, sexually. Then Master Zorac runs away from their Mistress, and Annalise discovers that her programming is more complex than she ever knew.

Master Zorac has joined a group of men, rebelling against their Mistresses. And he’s not afraid of using Annalise’s programming to his own ends.

You can get it at these online retailers, with more to come: AmazonB&NKoboApple, or Smashwords.

A Ghost Unseen, by DeAnna Knippling

A Ghost Unseen

DeAnna Knippling

The realtor told her the house was haunted by the ghost of a four-year-old kid who’d drowned in the pool in the 1960s. But that’s not why she bought the house: she’d bought it because the front room had a gorgeous bay window…and was painted the color of spattered blood. For years she’s waited to see the ghost, but now she has to face the truth: she’s never going to see it.

She’s running out of time…and she’s just going to have to act on faith.

Here are this week’s cover updates!

Zombie Girl Invasion, by De Kenyon

Zombie Girl Invasion. Not just girl germs…Zombie Girl germs!

and…

Attack of the 50-Foot Sushi Monster, by De Kenyon

Attack of the 50-Foot Sushi Monster.  Sometimes playing with your food can be deadly!

In other news…I am printing out Guinea Pig Invasion for my daughter Ray to read and approve, so I probably won’t get the ebook up this week.  She has really good instincts for this kind of thing.  I had another picture picked out for “Sushi,” which was an octopus tentacle coming out of a takeout box, but she was like, “Mom.  That is not a kid picture.”  She was right.  She was right.

So instead of waiting, I think I’ll get “A Ghost Unseen” formatted and up this week.

Next up for new covers: Haunted Empire and “The Business that Must Be Conducted in the Dark.”

You can get it at these places, with more to come: Amazon, B&N, Kobo, Apple, Smashwords.

Red Meat Riding Hood, by DeAnna Knippling

Red Meat Riding Hood

by DeAnna Knippling

Once upon a time…in some very strange woods indeed.

Once upon a time in a forest so far away as to be entirely unlike the forests that you get around here, a little girl realized that it was time to grow up and go out into the world, despite the best intentions of everyone around her.

And so she set off in search of Grandmother’s house, for Grandmother was known as entirely strange sort of person who had left the path—all paths—behind.

She took a basket that looked like an egg and felt like an egg but was really the shellacked pages of books, from which the words had escaped or been elided, containing an umbrella that would keep off the rain of other people’s dreams, and a persimmon that was a cure for all doubt, and set off from the words that anyone could know…

A surreal retelling of a young woman’s journey through an unknown and unknowable forest.

Now that I have been through an excellent covers class from Dean and Allyson…I am building new covers!  And cleaning up outdated ebook files!  And doing pretty things with fonts!  Starting from oldest to newest…here are the two I have done so far:

I’ve moved A Fly in Amber” from my name to Diane’s…little did I know, when I published my first ebook in, uh, early 2011 that I would be setting up a mystery pen name.  And this?  Is a mystery.

Someone added a neat review for it while I wasn’t looking, too:

a delightful, inspiring short story that tells how desperate the beverage companies are competing with one another. And you can’t imagine what they might have added to your favorite drink.

Thank you, Leung Hoi Tung.  Heh.

Another old-to-new cover:

Oh, yes.  Most bunnies are cute, fuzzy, loveable…but not Nibbles.   Nibbles is out for revenge.

What’s up next?

For cover updates, next is Zombie Girl Invasion.  The art won’t change, just the typography…and the interior…and the bio…and all the fiddly little bits that drive a good formatter insane…

I also have a new cozy mystery novel, Your Souffle Must Die, going through copyedits.

And my next kids’ book is called Guinea Pig Apocalypse.

And my next DeAnna story is called…”Red Meat Riding Hood.”

It feels good to be back in the swing of putting up ebooks for myself.  I took some time off to get things under control on the back end (ha ha), but mostly to get some more training under my belt.  And am now am feeling far more confident about what I can accomplish!

 

 

“The Mighty Mountain of Theornin” by Wonderland Press on Ganxy

“The Boy Who Would Not Sleep” by Wonderland Press on Ganxy

I’m testing a service that looks like it might be a solution to creating sales pages for ebooks.  Now, to make a sales catalog…

This story’s exclusive to Amazon for now.  Click here to check it out; it’s free for now if you have Amazon Prime.

The Boy Who Would Not Sleep

by De Kenyon

In the woods, Nickolas’s father tells him stories to pass the time as they cut down trees…but one story, he won’t tell. Not until Nickolas grows old enough to hear it. Finally, the time comes: the men in Nickolas’s family were always good at cutting things, but in older times, they were too good, and did monstrous things, eventually angering a local dragon.

The dragon cursed the men of their family to fall into a deep sleep that lasts from fall to spring, like a bear’s. And in their dreams, they must serve the dragon.

More than that, Nickolas’s father will not say.

Now, Nickolas is eating enough for many men…and getting sleepier with every step. The townswomen think it’s funny, but Nickolas has made up his mind: he will not sleep.

No matter what the cost.

(Ages 11-13.)

When Nickolas was a young boy following his father into the woods in order to carry his water while his father cut trees, his father would tell all kinds of stories of dragons and knights and fighting, and Nickolas enjoyed those stories very much. However, there was one story that his father would not tell him.

Nickolas would beg for a new story, and his father would say that he only had one story that he hadn’t told him yet. “But Nickolas, I am saving this story for you, and when it is time I will tell you.”

Nickolas grew older and older, and his father showed him how to use the ax to strip off branches, to cut away bark.

But he would not let him cut down a tree, not by himself. “There will be time,” his father said. “After you hear the story.”
“Soon?” Nickolas asked.

At first, his father had laughed and said, “Not so soon,” and told him the old stories again.

But then it changed to “soon,” and then “very soon now,” until finally his father said, “Now it is time to hear the last story, Nickolas, during the noon meal.”

They worked all morning, until finally it was time to eat. Every mouthful felt like it was going to choke Nickolas, for he could barely swallow.

“Once upon a time,” his father said, because that was the way he started his stories, “our family was cursed by a dragon.”

“A dragon!” Nickolas said. “I don’t believe it.”

“You better watch out for what you believe and what you don’t believe, young man,” said his father, who smiled until the tips of his teeth showed. “It will only get you in trouble. If I tell you our family was cursed by a dragon, then that’s what happened.”

“Yes, Father,” Nickolas said.

“Our family was cursed by a dragon for being…more than a little rambunctious. Wild. You see, when our family was young, we had no patience, no love of family, nothing but a desire to cut trees, to cut and cut and cut. Our family was so mad about cutting trees that we cut down the whole forest.”

Nickolas was surrounded by trees, trees so tall and thick that it seemed like the sun set hours early and rose hours late, it was so shaded and dim. Yet he knew better than to argue with his father that day.

“This was many, many hundreds of years ago,” his father added. “And the trees have all grown back.”

“Obviously,” said Nickolas, which earned him a pinch on the ear from his father. “Ow!”

Read more here.

All, I’m giving away a signed copy of the new Exotics 1 softcover.  You can sign up here, at Goodreads; the giveaway ends on December 2.  Pleeeeeeeeeease sign up!

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