Working on:

  • Integrating Richard’s comments (writer group).
  • Not giving away suspense for free.
  • Removing wordy “intros” to sections (Eric’s comments, writer group).
  • Rewriting Dr. Heck.

I just finished clarifying some motives, both Bill’s and Jack’s.

Favorite line so far: “Julian came back with another pitcher. Dinah looked up at him. I looked up at him, too. It was like looking up at a fur coat wearing a Phantom Tollbooth t-shirt.”