- Integrating Richard’s comments (writer group).
- Not giving away suspense for free.
- Removing wordy “intros” to sections (Eric’s comments, writer group).
- Rewriting Dr. Heck.
I just finished clarifying some motives, both Bill’s and Jack’s.
Favorite line so far: “Julian came back with another pitcher. Dinah looked up at him. I looked up at him, too. It was like looking up at a fur coat wearing a Phantom Tollbooth t-shirt.”