I’m struggling with an anxiety/depression cycle (again). Part of the problem is that when I take care of myself, I feel my anxiety or depression more acutely than I did before I started taking care of myself.
Numbness. It’s comforting.
I try to tell myself that it takes energy to feel numb, not the deadness of full-blown depression, but just pleasantly numb. Functional. And I can’t burn that energy on numbness if I want to interrupt the cycle.
But wouldn’t it be better to just wait the cycle out?
I never do, though. I just turn numbness up to eleven and stop taking care of myself.
I see you, depression and anxiety. My eyes are on you. And I’m going to take care of myself, whether you like it or not. I took a shower this morning, bitches…
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Like this post? Then do me a favor and check out Alice’s Adventures in Underland, a short historical fantasy novel about Alice Liddel and Charles Dodgson, gentleman zombie.