October 2011

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Miss Emma Honeyball reviewed Tales Told Under the Covers: Zombie Girl Invasion & Other Stories for me and had such nice things to say…

These are stories where the kids are in charge. The cohesive family unit is important, but the kids are the ones who are empowered to save the world. The adults are largely helpless. Astra’s Dad is physically helpless, he’s been injured and can’t work, which forces his daughter to take matters into her own hands. Neil’s parents don’t know the right way to kill zombies. Cat’s parents are frozen with horror as the Sushi monster attacks and Marina’s parents are eaten by Nibbles the giant rabbit. These children can walk into a world of the unknown and come up with a way to win. probably the best example of this is Connor, who is absorbed into a world of robots and works out how to win their war. De’s characters are flawed, vivid and real. They are gutsy, intelligent and brave. I loved every one of them.

Read the whole review here, at her website, In Potentia.  I should blush.

 

Now available at Smashwords, OmniLit, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon.com.

The Woods Behind Grandmother’s House

by DeAnna Knippling

Warning: Strong language and adult situations.

I set this behind my grandparents’ house–actually, it’s behind my great-grandmother’s little house, across the road from my grandparents.  The roses come from the other side of the family, though.  The places I played as a kid have become abandoned as generations of farmers stop farming.  It’s very sad.

Ellen warned her fiance Philip not to get involved with the Rockford brothers. But now he has gone with them down a dark path heavy with deadfalls and demons, and only she can bring him back.

In life, we follow some paths we shouldn’t; we open some doors we were never meant to go through; we acquire regrets as though they were limited-time collectable figurines and line them up on the shelves of our hearts, dusting them on a regular basis. I’m not sayin’ that I’m above all that. I’m just saying, if you open a door, you better know how to shut it. I learned that one the hard way, in the woods behind Grandmother’s house.

To sum up, my brother Jim and I were playing back there and dug up under the rotten old leaf mold. It was spring, and I think that’s what saved us, because the long winter was over, but it wasn’t warm enough for all the grownup to be out in the fields. The door was a bare tin cover with an iron lock on it, only the iron had rusted through, mostly, and we beat it the rest of the way off with a piece of granite that had worked its way up from under the soil, out in the field. The edge of the wood was lined with those things, as they got chucked out of the fields.

We were able to open the door, only because we’d happened to read a certain book earlier that morning. But I’ll describe that more later. We climbed down the worn metal ladder bolted to the side of the hole, down a long dirt tunnel, and into a magical world: to us two kids, it was a candyland where we ate pink happiness and drank blue sky and bounced on marshmallow clouds of joy.

Fortunately Grandmother caught up with us and set off her old travel alarm clock, which rang to wake the dead, right in our ears. In a second we could see just where we’d gone: straight to Hell. There are places where pieces of Hell come up to the surface, like hard pieces of granite in the field. Some folks get rid of ‘em. Some people keep ‘em around, in case they’re needed, like a pile of hard rock. And if you’re one to argue that nobody ought to keep pieces of Hell around and can’t understand that they might be needed, this story ain’t for you.

The demons fell on us as soon as they saw that we could see what they really were—screamin’ and hollerin’ the way we were, no wonder—but Grandma had a bit of fire in her hand, blue and bright, and she tore bits of it off and threw it at the demons, who flinched back from it. Why demons shimmering with heat and thick with scales and horns should have been afraid of that blue fire, I still don’t know, but that’s the way it was.

She got us back up through the door and out, and shut it. To sum up, my ass hurt bad for a few days after that, and the door got a new lock. But it wasn’t never buried under the leaves again, not while Grandmother was still alive.

Now available at Smashwords, Amazon.com, Barnes and Nobles, and OmniLit.  Coming soon at other online bookstores.

Hand of Glory

by DeAnna Knippling

Young adult/Crime/Coming of age.  An MMORPG Noir…I think I’ve been playing too much World of Warcraft and Rifts lately.

This cover was designed by the excellent Zachary Lin.  The story was actually written to fit the inspiration from that hand…awesome.  What would a digital hand of glory be like?  I had to find out.

Georgia’s brother didn’t hang himself for being gay or for being bullied about it. He was murdered over something that happened in the game—possibly over a mysterious hacker’s item called the Hand of Glory or Butler’s Candelabra, that lets you go anywhere, kill anyone, and steal anything.  And now it belongs to Georgia.

Warning: Strong language.

When you’re playing the game, you don’t think about ethics. You don’t think about right or wrong. Kill a unicorn? All right. Bring back eight unicorn hearts, still beating, never mind the drop rate. All right.

You do the job, and the next job, and the job after that. You level. You raid. You bring home the blues and the purples and you sell them at the auction house. You donate to your guild. You build up honor and reputation, both the kind you get points for and the kind that means when you say you’re going to show up on a Saturday night for a raid, you do it. You don’t wig out.

That’s the ethics of the game: don’t wig out.

 

They said Charlie finished the raid, wrote a suicide note, and hung himself off the back of one of the support beams in the basement. Meanwhile, upstairs, I was still logged on because I had some crafting to do.

Two floors below me, my brother was thinking, “Gosh, that was a great instance that I just ran with my little sis; we didn’t wipe once. What better time to kill myself for being gay?”

Bullshit.

Okay, the fact was, his Facebook was filled up with posts from his classmates at high school calling him a faggot and a queer and threatening to expose him to the world. Like he wasn’t already exposed. He didn’t try to hide it; the only secrets he kept were other people’s. For example, I wasn’t supposed to know who his boyfriend was, but I did: Gary Martin.

Gary was in my grade. I’d known him since we were little. In a world where kids waved at you their last day of school saying they’d see you again in the fall, then disappeared forever, Gary was a fucking rock. He didn’t live down the street, but he was within biking distance. I was kind of embarrassed at first when I found out he and Charlie were together, because neither one of them had told me. I felt like Gary didn’t trust me. The guy who swapped homework with me. The guy who lied for me about being at the library. The guy who told me to get my hair cut and stop staring at my feet and dragged me onto the dance floor to make my super secret crush jealous (that last part didn’t work as planned, but I got to dance with him anyway). Charlie, well, he always had his secrets; I’ve always spied on him.

We didn’t find him that night. He swayed back and forth in the basement from that piece of wood, on a piece of clothes rope. In the morning he didn’t follow the routine of getting ready for school. It was loud; the sound of not running out of hot water was loud. I was late getting out of the shower because it took longer for the water to get cold and Mom yelled at me and I was surprised: I had water temperature vs. time down to a science.

So I tore off downstairs to see what the fuck Charlie was up to. I ran down the stairs two at a time, thinking, “That’s it, this time I’m going to tell him I know about Gary.” I kicked open the door, because it wasn’t me who was going to get blamed when he moved out next fall for college if there was a hole in the drywall. The door hit the wall so hard it punched a hole through it and stuck.

By then he wasn’t swinging.

Oh God I fucking screamed. I don’t remember breathing.

 

 

Now available at Smashwords, OmniLit, B&N, and Amazon.com.

The Vengeance Quilt

by DeAnna Knippling

God’s work weighs on Sebastian, a new priest, harder than most.  But dealing with demons is his penance, and God never makes a burden harder than you can carry.  Or so he believes when the rivalry between two of his parishioners spirals into the supernatural.  A Weird West tale.

A Jennings Brothers story set in the same world as Chance Damnation.  Can be read in any order.

In his own head, he wasn’t Father Vincent Paul; he was Sebastian Jennings, a murderer. He hadn’t meant to become a violent man. He grimaced at himself in the mirror: now there was a face that would inspire his parishioners to love God. He checked his teeth, smoothed down his hair, and smiled. Even worse.

It was an August Saturday evening in the year of our Lord 1960, so he said Mass in his green vestments. He used to take more pride in his robes than any woman over designer dresses; now it was one more sign of his falseness under the glory of God.

He stepped out of the changing room. His older sister, Peggy, was waiting outside the door. “Sebastian? There’s a problem downstairs.” She wore an apron and twisted a wet towel in her hands. One side of her stylish dress was black from coffee or dishwater.

“What is it?”

“Claire and Eileen are fighting over the quilt for the harvest festival.”

“You should have interrupted me.” He rushed down the basement stairs.

Claire, a small woman with mousey hair, shouted, “That quilt doesn’t belong to you!”

Eileen, a much larger woman dressed in a tent, shouted back, “I paid for it!”

Claire Christiansen was married to Frank Christiansen, one of Don Hart’s hired hands. Eileen Hart was his wife. The two women stood in the kitchen with the service window shut, as if that would make them less audible to the people drinking coffee or the kids gaping from their catechism class doors. Sebastian held up one hand to keep Peggy from trying to smooth things over; he wanted to hear what the fight was about.

“You said the money was a donation!” Claire shrieked.

Frank Christiansen came toward the kitchen door, but Sebastian held him back, on hand on his chest.

“I hired you to make me a quilt!”

“You are the most selfish—I’m not going to say! I’ll give you back the money after we auction it off.”

“It’s my quilt!”

“Then just take it, you cow!”

“I’ll have your husband fired!”

“I just told you that you could have that damned quilt!”

Eileen noticed the others outside the kitchen door. Her blue eyes creased up at the corners. “You heard that, Father!”

“That’s enough, ladies,” he said. “You’re scaring the children.”

Claire turned around. She had a coffee cup and a towel in her hands; she put them down and walked toward him, her heels clicking precisely on the linoleum.

She glared at him with eyes so dark as to seem black. “There’s a commandment about those who bear false witness.” She went in the ladies’ room, slammed the door, locked it, then turned on the faucet, high-blast.

Eileen leaned back on a counter with a grin on her face.

Sebastian said, “I understood the quilt was a donation as well.”

Eileen said, “It’s my quilt. I paid for it.”

“Just for the materials?” Sebastian said. “Or for the time she spent on it as well?”

Eileen frowned. “That ain’t worth nothing. She owes me for lots of things. Milk.”

“I’d like to see an agreement for payment for her work, typed up and signed by both of you. And it would be very disappointing if I heard that Frank was fired over a disagreement between a couple of ladies.”

Eileen turned up her nose and lumbered out of the kitchen. She climbed the stairs slowly, dragging on the rail. “He could get fired for lots of reasons,” she shot over her shoulder, just as she turned the corner and went out of sight.

 


If you are interested in a print copy of Tales Told Under the Covers:  Zombie Girl Invasion & Other Stories, it’s available throughCreateSpace for $9.99, plus shipping.  Within a week, it should be available via Amazon, and after a few weeks, through other online venues.  Eventually, I’ll set up my own store…but not today :)

 

Looking for something Halloweenish, with zombies, pirates, robots, ghosts, death, and other adventures for a middle-grader?

Tales Told Under the Covers:

Zombie Girl Invasion &  Other Stories

by De Kenyon

Now at SmashwordsOmniLit, Amazon.com, and Barnes and Noble.  (Still waiting on the iBookstore, Sony, and Kobo.) Print at CreateSpace.

Ten tales of death, invasions from other realms, bullies, babysitters, liars, and the brave kids who fight back. Zombie girls who have to hide, lest they get eaten by bigger zombies. Food that bites back. Wizards who are scared of their own power. Murdered (and murderous) pets. Secret superpowers. And that last, great voyage into the unknown.

Stories to be whispered under the covers, by flashlight.

Stories to be read by firelight to the robots who come out of the woods.

Stories to be told when the witches are ready to eat you but want to hear just one more story before they shove you in the oven.

Creepy Stories. Fantastical Stories. Weird Stories.

From Attack of the 50-Foot Sushi Monster

Sometimes playing with your food can be deadly.

A hand reached from behind Cat, delivering a sushi roll on its tiny wooden table.

“Ewww!” her friend Marilyn squealed. Other kids laughed or made faces.

Cat rolled her eyes. “Just try it. It’s really good.”

Marilyn shook her head; she’d never eaten sushi before. But Cat was no scaredy-cat. She’d eaten sushi plenty of times.

But this wasn’t what she’d ordered. She’s ordered crab and masago, orange eggs so tiny that they crunched when she ate them—her favorite. Instead, the waiter had brought her a roll in the shape of a doll, with two seaweed-covered legs, strips of sesame seeds and masago on its belly, and avocado arms. The doll scowled at her, tiny pieces of seaweed snipped into a face on top of a piece of tuna.

Maybe that’s what the sushi restaurant made for everybody on their birthdays. She didn’t know.

The sushi-doll’s hands, made out of tiny green leaves, seemed to move, but it must have been the wind or something.

The waiter reached over and stuck a candle in a pile of green wasabi and lit it, and the kids and parents around her started to sing Happy Birthday

Suddenly, the sushi-doll sat up, and everyone screamed, including Cat. The sushi’s head turned back and forth, still scowling at everyone, and its little mouth opened into an O.

“You murderers!” it squeaked. It pushed itself off the wood, bending one knee underneath it, then slowly, wobbly, getting to its feet. “Sushi killers!”

 

Now on sale at Amazon.com, B&N, Smashwords, and OmniLit.

The Edge of the World

By DeAnna Knippling

His best friend Felix kidnapped him on dragonback to make him go to his abuser’s funeral, then tried to blackmail him into abducting changlings for them—the same thing that had happened to him.    Fairies suck.

Warning:  Strong language.

There’s not much difference between the real world and the land of fairies. Just take the number of assholes times ten. Bang! You’re in fairyland.

When I said “no,” Felix bound and gagged me, tied me onto the back of a prairie dragon, and flew me back to the Edge of the World anyway.

I watched the Edge coming up to meet me, the cottonwoods rustled louder than the dragon’s feathers in the heavy wind. The dragon landed right on the Edge, about a thousand feet above the prairie below.

About a thousand fairies had come to see Roberto burnt to ashes. Some were dressed in feathers and quills, as if it were a powwow; others wore Air Force uniforms or business suits with bare feet. The only ways to tell that they weren’t human were their ice-blue eyes, and they didn’t scream in terror at the dragon. Only mortals scream in terror. It’s a selfless act, a way of warning people to stay away or get their guns or whatever. Fairies are too self-involved for that.

I was still wearing my football jersey from practice. Felix cut the rope, and I rolled down the dragon’s side and the ground knocked the wind out of me. Felix jumped down and cut my ropes; I had to tear the gag off myself. I couldn’t believe they’d sent Felix. Then again, he’d been able to trick me long enough to cast the knockout spell on me when nobody else could have.

They’d laid Roberto’s body on a platform made of rough, green pine branches they’d dragged in from Hermit Mountain, rising above the last hills of the Edge. Rick Chamberlain held a bough burning with blue fire, which he tossed onto the base of the platform. Yeah, they’d just been waiting for my feet to touch the ground before they torched him, to make it official.

As soon as I could stand up, I ran over to the man who had abducted me, eighteen human years ago, and spit on his face. I screamed obscenities at him, and, “Why did you do it? Why couldn’t you leave me alone?” The man who had abducted me as a baby and held me prisoner in a razor-grass cage when I disobeyed him was dead, and the rest of them wanted me to take over his job.

Stealing kids.

The fire spread quick and hot, until the whole bier was black with smoke and sent sparks over the Edge. My last sight of Roberto was my spit running down his face, like a tear. And turning to steam.

Fucker.