Steven Wright. I hurt myself at work today, laughing so hard: Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? […]

Shark Boy and Lava Girl: Children’s movies should be rated on a scale of one to five based on the number of times you can stand to sit through the movie in a theater. Second-run theaters count. The parental survival rate after three viewings of SBLG is 100%. Three stars.

Would you like a baguette? I’m at Panera Bread, trying to order a cup of chai. There’s nobody at the bakery counter, so I stand in line at the cafe counter. Someone comes out from the back of the house and starts sweeping the bakery, so I ask her if I can get a cup

From Scientific American,September 2004: In an article about how nitrates may actually be beneficial: “The story of nitrate’s positive side began ni 1994, when Jon Lundberg of the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm and Nigel Benjamin of Peninsula Medical School of Exeter, Englind, independently observed that the human stomach harbos large amounts of the gas nitric

Grrr… I hate autumn. Lee’s discussed this with me, telling me about all the good things that autumn brings. Cooler temperatures, the crispness in the air, the turning of the leaves, etc. I concede that autumn itself isn’t so bad. But I still hate autumn, because of what happens to me every frikkin’ year. I

Aha! moveable feast n : a religious holiday that falls on different dates in different years from Dictionary.com. That is, Easter and the like. Now I know.

Stretch! Over the weekend of the first, Ray and I drove out to Rapid City to see my Grandparents and other family, some of whom I hadn’t seen for…ten years? More than that? Uncle Dan and Aunt Mararet were there from Reno. Surprisingly, they hadn’t changed much. Dan has gray hair. They both sound the

Silly. So I’m finally reading Jasper Fforde’s* Thursday Next book, Something Rotten when I realize that it’s a silly book. Not a big jump, there. But then I think, “What is silly? Dictionary.com says this: sil·ly adj. sil·li·er, sil·li·est Exhibiting a lack of wisdom or good sense; foolish. See Synonyms at foolish. Lacking seriousness or

Mad. Sent to customer service at Thrifty.com 08/02/05: To whom it may concern, I had a negative experience with the North Academy location of Thrifty in Colorado Springs, Colorado. This is my first experience with Thrifty. If I ever choose this company again, it will not be at this location. I rented a car from