Zombies

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The year in review for my DeAnna Knippling ebooks…

Novel:

Chance Damnation: A Tale of the Weird West

A little girl with the power of a God. Invaders from another world. When demons rewrite history on the Great Plains, three brothers follow one of their own into a strange Hell to change it back.

(Related short story) The Vengeance Quilt

God’s work weighs on Sebastian, a new priest, harder than most. But dealing with demons is his penance, and God never makes a burden harder than you can carry. Or so he believes when the rivalry between two of his parishioners spirals into the supernatural. A Weird West tale.  Can be read independently of the novel; happens after the novel.

Novellas:

Haunted Empire

SF Adventure in the vein of Firefly/Serenity: When Aoife Cavenaugh is kidnapped by her thieving, smuggling bastard of a cousin-in-law, she’s torn between the need to avenge her beloved cousin and her greed for the research lab on his spaceship. If only she can trick him into satisfying both of her obsessions…

Death by Chocolate

Ellie doesn’t like chocolate. So when the Devil makes her a deal—she can be skinny, pretty and immortal, but if she ever eats chocolate, she’s going to Hell—she takes it. Then the bad boy at the top of her sexual bucket list appears.. She’s tempted, but she trusts him even less than she trusts the Devil…

Nonfiction:

How to Fail & Keep on Writing

Afraid of rejections? So afraid that you never put your stories in the mail? This book will show you how to overcome fear of failure when It comes to writing, submitting, and publishing your fiction.

(Track record to date for my submitting process: 156 rejections, 12 accepts. Duotrope tells me this is better than average.)

Standalone Short Stories:

  • The Procrustean Mirror. Tom tracked his wife as far as the Zorcico before he ran out of leads. Now the bartender’s trying to tell him he can either have what’s in an old wooden box, or he can find out what Betty was coming to the dive bar for. “What’s in the box?” he asks. “Your marriage.”
  • The Cliff House. Ardahl loves his land, even though he’s been crippled in its service and trapped in the Cliff House to work the magic that brings water. But using the magic twists the land so tightly that it must break, sooner or later…
  • Threads of Life, Threads of Guilt.  Mattie’s ready to give up when her twin, Matt, drags her to Casa Eva, reputed to be St. Augustine’s “fountain of youth” for cancer patients. But can she be cured of losing her will to live?
  • Creators of Small Worlds.  Andrea had one chance to talk to Chris Demoulin before he unleashed horror on Las Vegas—and failed. Now the question isn’t, “could she have stopped him?” but, “can she keep stop herself from becoming just like him?”
  • The Woods Behind Grandmother’s House.  Ellen warned her fiance Philip not to get involved with the Rockford brothers. But now he has gone with them down a dark path heavy with deadfalls and demons, and only she can bring him back.
  • Hand of Glory.  Like a thief in the digital night. Georgia’s brother didn’t hang himself for being gay or for being bullied about it. He was murdered over something that happened in the game—possibly over a mysterious hacker’s item called the Hand of Glory or Butler’s Candelabra, that lets you go anywhere, kill anyone, and steal anything. And now it belongs to Georgia.
  • The Edge of the World.  His best friend Felix kidnapped him on dragonback to make him go to his abuser’s funeral, then tried to blackmail him into abducting changlings for them—the same thing that had happened to him. Fairies suck. Honorable Mention, Best Horror of the Year Vol 3.
  • Basement Noir.  Private Investigator Spade comes up from the basement to investigate the death of Gramps in an old hotel run by a monkey and populated by lunatics. But sometimes the person who hires you insn’t the one in charge. And sometimes the crime you’re investigating isn’t the one that needs to be solved.
  • Miracle, Texas.  The man rode into Amazon Valley the same way they all did, blindfolded, hooded, and with his hands tied behind his back. Men were trouble, and Justine liked them that way. A Weird West tale.
  • Lady of the Floods.  The gods can build in a single night a tower that would require the toil of many men over many seasons. Balathu, chief of scribes, brings the King’s offerings. Balathu is a virtuous man, but the tools of the gods are lovely in his sight, and in the sight of the King. Truly, weak men are always seized by fate.
  • Blind Spot.  An artist who sees what nobody else sees: the visual code generated by the eye’s own blind spot. A VR developer who sees the possiblities–including the threat to her life.
  • Devil Mountain.  The alien called him her beloved devil for tempting her away from her brood and tried to make him promise not to take revenge if the other humans turned on him. Now he’s on top of Devil Mountain, looking down at the town that murdered his wife, and he has no promises to keep.
  • Monsoon.  Too old to flirt with the Norwegian meditation teacher. Too young for menopause. It’s “Eat, Pray, Love” for sarcastic people.
  • Things You Don’t Want But Have to Take.  She hid from the thing for years, but it found her and came to her in a box with no real return address and her own handwriting on the label. She knew what would happen if she tried to fight the cold thing with its claws in her neck. Her only hope was to hide it from her husband…
  • Family Gods.  A young soldier returns from a war to bury his mother, only to find that his wife has betrayed him. His rage doesn’t come from his wife’s betrayal, but from the family god, a god of murder, fire, and anger that has haunted them for generations…and killed his mother.
  • Lanes of the Living Dead. It ain’t easy being divorced. But Bart’s ex-wife’s lawyer, also a voodoo priest, didn’t make it any easier.
  • The Debt:  A Zombie Tale.  He hired Dr. Skalos to put his brother to rest. He paid and paid and paid, yet still his brother walks, and hungers…
  • Mother & Child.  A boy who wants to rescue his mother from her perfect, imaginary life—at any cost. A girl who finds her life’s calling in a journal entry about a classmate’s pain. A mother who knows that just because everyone else has decided it’s Judgment Day, her daughter doesn’t have to get judged, too. Three extremely short stories of mothers, children, and the uncanny bonds between them.
  • Abominable.  You find the love of your life, and work your ass off to get her what she wants. Now she doesn’t love you anymore. You need something. You need something warm. You’re not the only one.
  • The Business That Must Be Conducted in the Dark. Master Zorac wants sexbot Annalise to follow him into the dark, but her programming won’t allow it…until she’s sent to capture him.
  • A Fly in Amber.  Three bottles of the Shackleton Scotch have returned to Scotland over 100 years after the failed Antarctic expedition. But how do they taste?

You can find my work online at all good ebookstores, including Amazon.com, B&N, and Smashwords.

 

The year in review for my De Kenyon pen name…

The Exotics Book 1: The Floating Menagerie

Nobody knows what happened when Rachael’s mom disappeared a week ago–except Rachael’s classmate Raul. So when giant talking dogs attack him, Rachael follows and gets kidnapped, too. Now she’s on a mysterious ship full of kids who can change into animals–the Exotics. Are their capturers selling Exotics into slavery? Or are they trying to rescue them from something worse?

I also have a short story in the series up…I haven’t announced it here yet, because I’m trying to get it to go free on Amazon first.  But it’s free on Smashwords…

The Exotics:  Tigerlilly (A Short Story)

After Rachael’s friend doesn’t return on the first day of second grade, she asks her mother to find her new address so they can be pen pals. But Rachael’s mother can’t find Brenna’s family anywhere: it’s like they were erased.

Tales Told Under the Covers: Zombie Girl Invasion & Other Stories

Ten tales of death, invasions from other realms, bullies, babysitters, liars, and the brave kids who fight back. Zombie girls who have to hide, lest they get eaten by bigger zombies. Food that bites back. Wizards who are scared of their own power. Murdered (and murderous) pets. Secret superpowers. And that last, great voyage into the unknown.

And I have all the individual Tales listed separately under De Kenyon:

  • Bunny Attack!
  • Zombie Girl Invasion
  • Attack of the 50-Foot Sushi Monster
  • A Picture is Worth 1000 Chomps
  • Class Pet from Beyond the Grave
  • The Society of Secret Cats
  • Which is Bigger, the Moon or an Elephant? And Other Stupid Questions
  • The Scaredy Wizard of Theornin
  • Factory Above, Factory Below
  • The Last Voyage of the Mermaid

All books are listed on Amazon, Smashwords, and B&N online, as well as a ton of other online stores too numerous to mention.

 

All, I’m giving away three signed copies of Tales Told Under the Covers: Zombie Girl Invasion & Other Stories. Three paper copies, via Goodreads–sign up from now to December 31st.  I may toss in an ebook copy of Exotics 1, if it’s ready.

If you would like to buy a signed copy for delivery before Christmas, contact me at dknippling {at} gmail {dot} com.

“…whilst reading “Tales Told Under The Covers” I definitely felt that De is the natural successor to Lewis Carroll in terms of imagination, variety, surreal madness and dark wit.” –Emma Hunneyball

“These kids were underdogs — like I was as a kid. They inspired bravery and made me laugh out loud. The stories themselves are a blast, even at their creepiest; De has the coolest imagination.” –Liz Barone

TALES TOLD UNDER THE COVERS: ZOMBIE GIRL INVASION & OTHER STORIES, by De Kenyon (that is, me!)

–Middle-grade horror, sf, and fantasy short stories.–

Ten tales of death, invasions from other realms, bullies, babysitters, liars, and the brave kids who fight back. Zombie girls who have to hide, lest they get eaten by bigger zombies. Food that bites back. Wizards who are scared of their own power. Murdered (and murderous) pets. Secret superpowers. And that last, great voyage into the unknown.

Stories to be whispered under the covers, by flashlight.

Stories to be read by firelight to the robots who come out of the woods.

Stories to be told when the witches are ready to eat you but want to hear just one more story before they shove you in the oven.

Creepy Stories. Fantastical Stories. Weird Stories.

Amazon.com

Barnes and Noble

Print

And other online stores.

 

Miss Emma Honeyball reviewed Tales Told Under the Covers: Zombie Girl Invasion & Other Stories for me and had such nice things to say…

These are stories where the kids are in charge. The cohesive family unit is important, but the kids are the ones who are empowered to save the world. The adults are largely helpless. Astra’s Dad is physically helpless, he’s been injured and can’t work, which forces his daughter to take matters into her own hands. Neil’s parents don’t know the right way to kill zombies. Cat’s parents are frozen with horror as the Sushi monster attacks and Marina’s parents are eaten by Nibbles the giant rabbit. These children can walk into a world of the unknown and come up with a way to win. probably the best example of this is Connor, who is absorbed into a world of robots and works out how to win their war. De’s characters are flawed, vivid and real. They are gutsy, intelligent and brave. I loved every one of them.

Read the whole review here, at her website, In Potentia.  I should blush.

 

If you are interested in a print copy of Tales Told Under the Covers:  Zombie Girl Invasion & Other Stories, it’s available throughCreateSpace for $9.99, plus shipping.  Within a week, it should be available via Amazon, and after a few weeks, through other online venues.  Eventually, I’ll set up my own store…but not today :)

 

Looking for something Halloweenish, with zombies, pirates, robots, ghosts, death, and other adventures for a middle-grader?

Tales Told Under the Covers:

Zombie Girl Invasion &  Other Stories

by De Kenyon

Now at SmashwordsOmniLit, Amazon.com, and Barnes and Noble.  (Still waiting on the iBookstore, Sony, and Kobo.) Print at CreateSpace.

Ten tales of death, invasions from other realms, bullies, babysitters, liars, and the brave kids who fight back. Zombie girls who have to hide, lest they get eaten by bigger zombies. Food that bites back. Wizards who are scared of their own power. Murdered (and murderous) pets. Secret superpowers. And that last, great voyage into the unknown.

Stories to be whispered under the covers, by flashlight.

Stories to be read by firelight to the robots who come out of the woods.

Stories to be told when the witches are ready to eat you but want to hear just one more story before they shove you in the oven.

Creepy Stories. Fantastical Stories. Weird Stories.

From Attack of the 50-Foot Sushi Monster

Sometimes playing with your food can be deadly.

A hand reached from behind Cat, delivering a sushi roll on its tiny wooden table.

“Ewww!” her friend Marilyn squealed. Other kids laughed or made faces.

Cat rolled her eyes. “Just try it. It’s really good.”

Marilyn shook her head; she’d never eaten sushi before. But Cat was no scaredy-cat. She’d eaten sushi plenty of times.

But this wasn’t what she’d ordered. She’s ordered crab and masago, orange eggs so tiny that they crunched when she ate them—her favorite. Instead, the waiter had brought her a roll in the shape of a doll, with two seaweed-covered legs, strips of sesame seeds and masago on its belly, and avocado arms. The doll scowled at her, tiny pieces of seaweed snipped into a face on top of a piece of tuna.

Maybe that’s what the sushi restaurant made for everybody on their birthdays. She didn’t know.

The sushi-doll’s hands, made out of tiny green leaves, seemed to move, but it must have been the wind or something.

The waiter reached over and stuck a candle in a pile of green wasabi and lit it, and the kids and parents around her started to sing Happy Birthday

Suddenly, the sushi-doll sat up, and everyone screamed, including Cat. The sushi’s head turned back and forth, still scowling at everyone, and its little mouth opened into an O.

“You murderers!” it squeaked. It pushed itself off the wood, bending one knee underneath it, then slowly, wobbly, getting to its feet. “Sushi killers!”

 

Now at Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon.

Strike against the evil that lawyers and ex-lovers do by picking up this story for free this weekend at Smashwords using coupon code UH37C!

Lanes of the Living Dead

by DeAnna Knippling

It ain’t easy being divorced. But Bart’s ex-wife’s lawyer, also a voodoo priest, didn’t make it any easier.

People say I’m an optimist, Mr. Half-full-of-it, but I like to think of myself as practical. As I like to say, “Don’t see problems, see opportunities.”

Take Bart, for instance.

Bart don’t talk much, but he’s a hard worker.  As I like to say, he works the job, not the clock. Oh, he has a temper, and he’s a bit literal-minded, but everybody’s got their faults.

The only real problem we’ve had with Bart is with potlucks. After the first couple of times of asking him what was in his chili or cassaroles, we told him he had to bring chips instead.  Nobody likes to find out they’ve been eating calf brains after the fact.

 

Now at Smashwords, Amazon, and Barnes & Noble!

Coupon for FREE story this weekend only:  use coupon code JT47V at Smashwords to gain revenge upon those who charge too much for ebooks!

The Debt:  A Zombie Tale

Death costs more than you can afford…

He hired Dr. Skalos to put his brother to rest.  He paid and paid and paid, yet still his brother walks, and hungers…

As I hid under the bridge, I noticed there was a sliver under my skin that had come from the coffin of the last grave I dug up for Dr. Skalos. Dr. Skalos is the kind of doctor that you hope you never have to consult, but somehow you always do. And then you have placed yourself in his power.

I had had to consult him on the matter of my brother, who had not yet died, even though he was dead. I had tried everything from bathing him in milk and attar of roses to hitting him on the head with a shovel, and still he moved and hungered, even after the sickness stopped his breathing.

I had finally tied him up and stuffed his mouth with rags to keep him from moaning, and brought him in a cart to Dr. Skalos’s back door.

Dr. Skalos took him inside, chanted and waved burning feathers over him, and laid in him stone-dead in a coffin within the hour. I assumed guardianship of the two brats that my brother had not consumed and the debt of having him put, finally, to rest.

And so I dug up corpses when Dr. Skalos requested it. Oh, he paid me, just as I had had to pay him to lay my brother down, but there were debts other than money that neither of us had yet deemed paid.

 

Now at Smashwords.com, Barnes and Noble, and Amazon.com.

This weekend only!  Get “Zombie Girl Invasion” FREE at Smashwords only using coupon code MF89W. Act now; zombies are waiting for your click!

ZOMBIE GIRL INVASION

Neil hates zombies.  Neil hates girls.  Dang ol’ zombie girl.

Neil hates zombies. Neil hates girls. Bleah. But then the zombies invade, and he has to save the zombie girl from being eaten…by other zombies!

Neil hated zombies.  I mean, really hated zombies.  If he ever saw a zombie, he would tear the refrigerator off the wall and smash it over the zombie’s head, so it squished out the bottom like a packet of ketchup.  Or shoot it with a shotgun, right the head, so its head would explode like a tomato.  Or burn it up with a flamethrower, or chop its head off with a samurai sword, or lasers.

It’s okay to kill zombies.

His dad understood that it was okay to kill zombies, as long as it wasn’t too loud, or in church or at school or at the grocery store, and then it was okay to kill zombies as long as you did it quietly.  His mom didn’t understand at all, but that was girls for you.