Weight.

(Forgive me if I screw this up.)

1 lb = 16 oz. = 1 pint

1 c = 8 oz (2 c = 1 pint, 2 pints = 1 quart, 4 quarts = 1 gallon)

1 gallon = 8 pints = 8 pounds.

So a gallon (of beer) is 8 pounds.

According to my sources, keg sizes are:

1/2 barrel, or 15.5 gallons of beer.

1/4 barrel, or 7.25 gallons of beer (pony keg).

A 1/2 barrel keg is 124 lbs. of beer.

A 1/4 barrel keg (pony keg) is 62 lbs. of beer.

A case of beer is 24 12 oz. cans of beer:

288 total oz. of beer, or 18 pounds of beer, or 2.25 gallons of beer.

A six-pack of beer is 6 12 oz. cans of beer:

72 total oz. of beer, or 4.5 pounds of beer, or just over half a gallon of beer.

So a woman of, say, 150 lbs. is worth about a keg and 1 1/2 cases of beer. The monetary value varies depending on brand, for instance, Miller Lite vs. Amber Bock.

Now, whenever someone asks you for a really annoying favor, like helping paint their house, you can say, “Only if you give me my weight in beer.”

(To find your weight in gold:

A gold bar is 1 oz.

16 oz./pound.

Gold at $501/oz.

Your weight in gold per pound: $8016.

That same woman would be worth $1,202,400.)

“So. Do you want to come over tomorrow and paint my house?”

“No,” I said.

“No.” “No.” “I will for beer.”

“Got to be a lot of beer,” I said. “Tell her you’ll do it for your weight in beer.”

“You stay out of this; you said no. And it’s just one room anyway.”

Good way to kill the last ten minutes of work on a Friday, trying to figure out your weight in beer units.